A Quick Update...

Hello everyone!

Look, I know I promised that I was going to post a Daily Win and FAIL, well, daily. However, I just spent a week in the land of no internets AKA North Idaho, and no, I don't consider dial-up to be real internet (do you consider a Honey Bucket to be the same as indoor plumbing?) So I couldn't update my blog without driving to Starbucks every day and paying to use their Wi-Fi, which would suck not only because I would have to pay for it, but also because I would have to hang out at Starbucks in Sandpoint every day, and they're the cold-hearted corporate bastards that decided to open up one of their craptastic chains two doors down from one of my favorite coffee and open mike places in Sandpoint: Jumpin' Joe's. Wouldn't you know it, Jumpin' Joe's went out of business within six months because all the tourists could get their favorite coffee at Starbucks instead of having to take their chance on a local business, and that way their vacation would feel just as if they never left home.

So after keeping my promise of posting every day for a whole eight days, I had to renege. FAIL!



But in order to make up for this absence, I plan on wasting spending New Year's Day constructing a Daily Win and FAIL extravaganza, which will no doubt more than make up for the week or so that I missed. In the meantime, I thought I'd share this email I received while I was out of town:

"Old Witchcraft Secrets" will show you in detail,
how you can cast powerful spells, to make your wildest dreams come true.

http://243518.searedfish.com/lk531

It's NOT your fault that your spells and rituals
aren't turning out like you want... YET.

The truth is... you've been misled by self-proclaimed
powerful wizards and witches... and the truth is that
99% of these 'professionals' are DEAD WRONG!

In fact, a lot of what they say will actually diminish your powers.

They don't want you to know the right way to
cast spells because if you did, you'd never need
them again and they would lose their power!

You cannot invent 'new' spells like you
cannot invent a new tree. Everything is old. But
not everything is known in the right way.

Get 3 Spells just for visiting our site

http://243518.searedfish.com/lk531

To stop receiving announcements about this offer:
http://243518.searedfish.com/lk532

Old Witchcraft
642 Main Street
Chalestown, Nevis, Saint Kitts Nevis

Happy New Year, everyone! See you next year!

Rob

DW&F: Trousers and Traffic

Hello everyone!

Well, we didn't get a chance to leave today because Cathy had to work later than we were hoping. Originally, we had planned on heading up to Portland this afternoon/evening and then going on to Sandpoint tomorrow. Well, apparently Portland is still closed, as is I-84, so we're going to try to cross Santiam Pass toward Bend and head up US 97. But chains are required to cross the pass, and since I didn't feel like chaining up on the side of the road in the dark, we just decided we'd head out tomorrow. I have a feeling we won't make the whole trip in one day, so we might end up spending the night in Tri-Cities, Washington, which is one of my least favorite places in the Pacific Northwest. If you've never been there, think of it as an anti-oasis, in that it's a concentration of suck surrounded by cool places an hour or two in practically any direction. But we have a friend who lives there, so I guess it's not all that bad.

Daily Win and FAIL!

Win: New jeans

I bought myself a new pair of jeans today, and they are very comfortable. Let's just say my appreciation of Oregon microbrews has helped make some of my old pants fit a bit more snugly these days, so I had forgotten how nice it is to be wearing pants that fit properly. Win!

Look, I realize that new pants isn't the most epic of all wins, but that's all I've got right now, so it will just have to do! Besides, it's a good excuse to post the photo above, which most definitely is a win!

FAIL: Traffic

I hate traffic. It really brings out the worst in people. Today I ended up dodging last-minute shoppers as I was running some errands before we leave town, and half of Eugene was making the loop between Valley River, Delta Oaks, Costco, Gateway, and Oakway. I went to G.I. Joe's and got stuck dealing with the 15,000 or so idiots trying to leave the parking lot after buying crap at the Wal-Mart next door (not that Joe's is much better). I tried to go around and leave at the other exit--the one without the light--but soon realized that there was no way I'd be able to turn left onto Green Acres, so I figured I'd turn right and take Crescent to Coburg, and then catch the Beltline from there. Wrong! It literally took over 20 minutes to go from Delta Oaks to Coburg Rd.

Once I finally made it to Coburg, the traffic was so heavy that I couldn't get over two lanes to make the turn onto the Beltline without having to cut someone off because my lane was moving at a crawl, and the left lane was loaded with traffic whizzing past. "No big deal," I thought. "I'll just take Coburg straight through and get home in no time." Wrong again! It was fine for a few blocks after Beltline until about Willakenzie or so. But then traffic slowed a crawl, apparently because I was getting close to Harlow and the millions of zombies coming and going to Gateway.

Eventually I passed Harlow, but things still didn't get any better because Oakway was next. It was about this time that the old lady with the "PEACE IS PATRIOTIC" bumper sticker cut me off and almost ran over the idiot who thought it was a good idea to jaywalk between Albertsons and the gas station next to Starbucks at Oakway, even though perhaps 30 yards away there was a crosswalk with a FREAKIN' TRAFFIC SIGNAL!

All of a sudden after passing I-105, most of the traffic magically disappeared, and I was able to take out my frustrations by driving several miles per hour over the speed limit across the Ferry Street Bridge. All told, it took me about an hour to make it home, which according to Google maps is only a distance of 7.2 miles. Seriously, the CD I was listening to cycled through all its songs and began to repeat itself before I made it home, and I wasn't even listening to an EP! FAIL!


Rob

DW&F: Elephant Poo Poo Paper and Typos

Hello everyone!

Remember yesterday when I whined about how tired I was from all this Christmas crap? Well, ditto, except I'm even more tireder, plus I'm stressed because we're supposed to be leaving for Portland tomorrow afternoon to see some friends before going to Sandpoint on Tuesday. But apparently I-84 has been closed from Troutdale to Hood River for the past few days because there is way too much snow and the one snowplow within a 45 mile radius of Portland is busy plowing other roads, so who knows what is going to happen. We might try heading over Santiam Pass toward Bend, or we might just leave later. Everything is up in the air right now, and I don't like it!

But if there's one thing you can count on never being up in the air, it's the...

Daily Win and FAIL!

Win: Elephant Poo Poo Paper




This is a greeting card made of paper that was made from elephant poo. Now, elephants most likely make a whole lot of poop, so it's nice to know that some of it is being put to good use. But the best part about it is that the label on the back proudly proclaims that the company makes "100% recycled and odorless paper products." How many paper companies feel the need to reassure their customers that their products are 100% odorless? I'm guessing only The Great Elephant Poo Poo Paper Company Limited does, and that's what makes it a Win!

FAIL: Typos

In my last Daily Win and FAIL! column, I included a photo that I took of a FAIL that I spotted in the wild, in which some rulers with lion photos on them were labeled, "Motion Horse Ruler." This would be an obvious FAIL as it implies that someone can't tell the difference between lions and horses. The problem was that for some reason I described the label as saying, "Motion Picture Ruler." Ordinarily, this would be no big deal, except the label was the whole point of the FAIL, which would make it another FAIL on my part since I screwed up in describing something that someone else screwed up. It's also very ironic--not in an Alanis Morissette irony FAIL sort of way, but ironic in the true sense of the word. These FAILS work so much better when they don't have to be explained, so I'll stop before I make this a triple FAIL.



So the original has been fixed, and the lesson to be learned here is that typos can ruin even the best writings. Just ask this guy.

Rob

DW&F: Jerry Brown and Brown Clouds

Hello everyone!

It's 11:30 pm, and I'm way beyond tired. It's been a long day of battling traffic and long lines throughout town, including what seemed like six hours at the post office. Yes, we spent today doing our obligatory late December ritual of buying lots of stuff to give to people we love in order to remind them that we love them. 'Tis the season! Fa-la-la-la-la!

What I'm trying to say is that I might half-ass it tonight. But remember, I'm not getting paid for this!

Sorry, but I couldn't resist.

Daily Win and FAIL!

Win: Jerry "Freakin'" Brown

Just read this article.

I also like the way the picture makes it look like he's about to flick a booger at someone. Prop 8 supporters, maybe? Win!

FAIL: People who fart at the post office

I'm talking about people who fart near a crowd of people who, for whatever reason, can't get away and have to stand there and breathe in the ghastly stench while simultaneously feeling obligated to not deviate from societal norms such as covering one's nose, waving away the smell, or going on a witch hunt to identify and ridicule the offender, thereby dissuading others from committing the same faux-pas. What I'm trying to say is whoever smelt it, probably didn't dealt it, and yet was stuck dealing with it!

Today while standing in line at the post office, someone dropped a stinkbomb that was so foul that I think I threw up in my mouth a little. Seriously. It had to have been in my top ten (or bottom ten depending on one's perspective) farts that I've ever had the displeasure of smelling. Sadly, none of my own farts make the top ten list, but then I'm probably biased.

Anyway, we'd been waiting at least 45 minutes and were near the front of the line when the bomb was dropped, so we had to just stand there and inhale the gas that came out of someone else's anus, otherwise we'd lose out place and have to go to the back of the line. Talk about choosing the lesser of two evils! And did I mention that there was no air circulation, either? It just sat there and lingered in an invisible toxic cloud of nastiness that would not disperse! At least I now know what hell smells like!

The interesting thing was that there were also several other people waiting in line, including the perpetrator, yet no one else moved, either. We all just stood there breathing this disgustingly foul stench and nobody even said anything, presumably because that would make whoever dealt it feel uncomfortable. Of course, if someone decided to light a cigarette in that line, my guess is that most of the other people would have a conniption fit with no concern for the feelings of the smoker. It's an interesting world in which we live.

And yes, I realize cigarette smoke is deadly. But had you been there with me today, you'd realize it's not the only deadly gas a person can emit. FAIL!


Bonus win: The above photo was taken by me! I'll admit, it's not a great FAIL, per se, but I'm happy with it! For those of you who can't see it very well, it's a label from the Office Max at the 29th and Willamette shopping center that says, "Motion Picture Horse Ruler," in front of rulers with pictures of lion (not horse) cubs. Basically, these are sort of holographic pictures that, if you rotate the ruler, makes it looks like the lions are walking. But they don't make the lions look anything like horses, other than the fact that they're both four-legged mammals. Hence, the FAIL! Granted, this FAIL is no FAILboat, but I think it's pretty good for my first FAIL. So, "Win"!

Well, look at that. It's well past midnight, and just a few days into my pledge to blog every day, I've already skipped a day. ROBFAIL!



Rob

DW&F: Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cookies and Rick Warren

Hello everyone!

You should know the routine by now. If not, go here first.

Daily Win and FAIL!

Win: Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cookies!



Cathy made cookies yesterday! This recipe wasn't one of those dry, cardboard-tasting, crappy peanut butter cookie recipes with chocolate chips added. No, this one is more like Toll House chocolate chip cookies with peanut butter added. And since it's that time of year, here's my Saturnalia present to you, the viewer:

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies
Ingredients:
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, softened
• 1/2 cup chunky or smooth peanut butter
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
• 1 egg
• 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
Preparation:
Preheat oven to 375°.
Cream the butter, peanut butter and sugars until light. Add the egg and mix until fluffy.
Blend the flour, baking powder, soda and salt together well. Add these dry ingredients to the butter mixture. Add the chocolate chips.
Drop cookie dough by teaspoonfuls onto lightly greased baking sheets. Bake for 10-12 minutes at 375°.

These are fantastic! And they're even better when you have a kick-ass wife who's willing to make them for you! If you're reading this, Cathy, I love you sweetheart! Oh, what the heck, I love you even if you don't read this. Win!

FAIL: Rick Warren

True story: I used to have a boss named Rick Warren. But that's not who I'm talking about. I'm referring to this butt-munch:



At least with the nutjobs like James Dobson and Fred Phelps, they're open with their ridiculousness and outright hate, respectively. But Warren masks his bigotry behind a friendly, marketable façade. However, it comes out here in this interview.

To him being gay is the same as being angry or shy, which of course means it's simply some emotional problem that can be corrected. Then he claims that he has had "many gay friends" that want to have "multiple sexual partners," which is absolutely utter bullshit for two reasons. One, why would anyone want to be "friends" with someone who thinks he or she is a sinner and is going to hell? Two, if there were people willing to do this, why would they then want to have detailed conversations about their sex lives with that person? I don't go around discussing my sex life with my friends, who certainly wouldn't be judgmental about it if I did, yet we're supposed to believe that a guy who compares gay marriage to sibling marriage, pedophilia, and polygamy has a whole string of gay friends just lining up to ask him for advice on sex?

Then he gets really creepy and says he's "naturally inclined to have sex with every beautiful woman" he sees (the interviewer's reaction was priceless), but that it's not the right thing to do, of course without explaining why it's not the right thing to do. I have no problem with promiscuity provided precautions are used and the involved parties are honest and open about it with each other. But this is just pushing the same old stereotype that only gay people are promiscuous. I know lots of gay people, and none of them are any more promiscuous than any of the hetero people I know.

He says he "reigns in" his "natural impulses." That's fine, but it begs the question: why am I allowed to explore my "natural impulses" with my wife but gay people aren't (with each other, not with my wife)? What's the difference? I've never heard this question answered without referring to an obscure bible passage in Leviticus while simultaneously ignoring the other passages in Leviticus that promoted slavery and condemned people who eat shellfish or cut their sideburns to death by stoning.

Then the icing on the cake is when he claims that gay people repressing themselves is "part of maturity" and "character." This is when his bigotry really shines through, but instead of just ranting and raving about how he thinks gay people are sinners, he just essentially says they're immature and have a bad character, which of course is much more palatable but still marginalizes a whole group of people.

There's also the same old, tired argument about redefining marriage, and he even has the audacity to claim that marriage has always been between a man and a woman, of course completely ignoring thousands of years of concubines and polygamy, as well as the fact that marriage has routinely been "redefined" throughout history. Case in point: our current President-elect would've been a bastard child if his parents were from one of about 20 states because of the anti-miscegenation laws on the books. Fortunately, people decided to "redefine marriage" in order to not legally enforce bigotry, something just over 50% of the voters in California haven't yet learned.

But here's the real kicker: that same President-elect whose parents benefited from the redefinition of marriage invited to his inauguration a guy who's against giving rights to an oppressed minority, one Rick Warren. Obama is not off to a good start, and he hasn't even officially started yet. In fact, he's looking more and more like Bill Clinton by the day, possible even more so than Hillary would've been. FAIL!




I guess I'll just have to spend the next four (possibly eight) years reminding myself that at least Bush isn't the president.

Rob

DW&F: Chris Matthews(!) and Water Wow

Hello everyone!

Gee, these Daily Win and FAIL submissions are more difficult than I thought they'd be. But I'm not giving up or anything. However, I'm really having a tough time finding "Win" photos, so I might have to do away with them. "FAIL" photos are everywhere, though, but that's good since they're so much fun. Let's get started!

Daily Win and FAIL!

Win: Er, Chris Matthews?!

Wow. It's nice to see some actual common sense on TV, particularly since there's been such a dearth of it on the news networks. Of course, we could've used this type of "hard-hitting," call-them-on-their-crap reporting in, say, the lead up to the Iraq invasion (and the Afghanistan invasion, as well). But hey, better late than never, I guess. Win!

FAIL: "Water Wow"

For those of you who don't know what this is and can't click on the link, the makers claim it's "A Mess-Free Art Kit for Kids." Here's how it works: Your kid starts with a white "drawing board" with a black outline of a picture, which looks much like a page in a coloring book. Then your kid puts water in one of the specially-designed pens. Finally, Junior "draws" on the boards with water, and color "magically" appears.

The website calls this "Mess-Free Creativity." How the hell is this "creativity"? How is this fun? The kid doesn't get to decide how to color the picture--all the brat gets to do is apply water to a board! Apparently the little derelict is going to develop valuable skills that can be used when he or she becomes a professional window-washer, so why not go the Full Monty and get the little hooligan a squeegee while you're at it?

This is what happens when toys are marketed to parents. Worse yet, this one is marketed to bad parents. On one hand you have the parents who are too worried about their little hell-raiser getting crayon all over the house (because what would the neighbors think?), yet are too lazy to teach their budding sociopath not go coloring the walls or the dog. Then there are the overbearing, perfectionist parents who simply can't handle it when their little hoodlum scribbles outside the lines or colors a person's face Orchid instead of Maize. With Water Wow they don't have to have painful yet colorful reminders of what a failure their delinquent is hanging on the fridge because everything is colored exactly the way the toy designers designed it to be.

Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster that my parents weren't like this, or else I would've turned out even more messed up than I am. Also, thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster that we don't have any hellions running around, or we might be tempted to buy the little mischief-makers a Water Wow.

Water Wow? More like Water FAIL!


And one more since there was no win photo:


Rob

DW&F: Being Official and Bush Says the Dumbest Things

Hello everyone!

In the process of writing holiday cards, resumes, cover letters, and grocery lists, I've realized that I don't feel like doing much more writing today. So let's cut the crap and get down to brass tacks!

Daily Win and FAIL!

Win: Being official.

I finally got the official word from University of Nike Oregon that I have indeed met all my requirements and will get my degree. I knew this would happen, but it's still nice to finally have it be all official. Now the last thing for me to look forward to nervously obsess about is the wait for my diploma to arrive in the mail. Unfortunately, they supposedly aren't going to mail it until sometime in March. But when I get it, the first thing I'll do is frame it, so I can hang it in the bathroom, and stare at it while I sit on the toilet. Win!



FAIL: Bush: "I didn't compromise my soul to be a popular guy."

That's right. Sometimes doing what's right is not very popular. In fact, sometimes it's only popular with about 25% of the public. But apparently, if you're the president, there's no reason to do what the people want you to do. It's not like you're accountable to them or anything. Let's be real--the people are obviously all a bunch of idiots who can't see what a great president Bush is. That's basically what he's saying.

Here's a quote from the article that sums his presidency perfectly:

"What do you expect? We've got a major economic problem and I'm the president during the major economic problem. I mean, do people approve of the economy? No. I don't approve of the economy. ... I've been a wartime president. I've dealt with two economic recessions now. I've had, hell, a lot of serious challenges. What matters to me is I didn't compromise my soul to be a popular guy."

You're right, Bush. The craptastic economy and the two disastrous wars aren't important. What's important is that you stuck by your principles. Your terrible, idiotic, destructive principles that directlyled to the two wars and the tanking economy.

What an obnoxious, arrogant assclown. In order to get by, I have to keep reminding myself that we only have to deal with this crap for 33 more days. FAIL!



Rob

DW&F: New CDs and It's Cold!

Hello everyone!

Well, I hope y'all enjoyed yesterday's episode of Daily Win and FAIL, particularly since I have a new one planned for today. Let's get right to it!

Rob Dow's World presents:

Daily Win and FAIL!

Win: New CDs!


Today I picked up two new (for me) CDs: "La Cucaracha" by Ween and the all-instrumental "The Mix-Up" by Beastie Boys. I just finished listening to the Ween album, and I have to say it's really strange, even by Ween standards. But like mildew or athlete's foot, I think it will grow on me. I'm listening to "The Mix-Up" as I type this, and so far it also sounds extremely promising. I've been burned out lately by the same old albums in my music collection, so it was time to get something new. Win!


FAIL: It's freakin' cold!


Right now, it's 15 degrees. That's way too cold for Eugene, Oregon. And it's supposed to last for the rest of the week, and then we're going to be heading to North Idaho to freeze some more! There's a reason I left in the first place! Actually, it wasn't necessarily to leave the cold, but once I was away from it, I realized that I didn't miss it at all. I've also become acclimated to cold but unfrozen winters since I've been here. Whatever happened to our usual monsoon season that we're supposed to be "enjoying" during December?

And yes, I'm aware that I complained about the snow yesterday, but cold is completely different. Besides, it's so cold that all I can think about is how cold it is. FAIL!


Well, that wraps up another episode of Daily Win and FAIL! Until next time!

Rob

Daily Win and Fail: Episode 1

Hello everyone!

Well, I passed all my classes. That means that pending UO final approval, I now have a Bachelor of Arts degree in Political Science with a History minor!

It also means that now I have to get a job. But with my degree choice coupled with the craptastic current economy, it might be a while. I still have my part-time tutor gig at LCC to tide me over plus a fantastic Sugar Mama, so I probably won't be sleeping in a car anytime soon (unless the students loans decide to imitate their sub-prime mortgage cousins and tank, in which case both Cathy and I will be sleeping in our car). Still, we'd like to buy a house at some point, and not having to scrape by is always nice, so a decent job I will find. If I could make a career out of blogging, I would, but ask yourselves this, would you pay to read this crap? I wouldn't!

Of course, now that I'm no longer writing papers for school, I have much more free time to add more crap to this pile. I may not be able to give you quality, but I can give you quantity! See, we're already three paragraphs in, and all I've said is that I've graduated, I need to find a job, and my blog sucks! Yet, look at how many words I used!

As I hinted in a posting from a couple weeks ago, I'm adding a new feature to Rob Dow's World. It's not exactly in a finalized form or anything, so let's call it the "beta version." First, some background:

I've been inspired by my Writing 123 instructor from my Spring 2005 term at LCC. He blogs under the name "Raymond Pert." In addition to the noteworthy events happening in his life and the fantastic observations about life, he also posts a semi-regular feature, "Three Beautiful Things." This is where he basically relates three good experiences he had that day, and it spreads joy and all that crap. I do remember once reading that he said he tries to post a Three Beautiful Things every day, and that blogging was a way for him practice writing and be in contact with old friends and family. So by trying to post every day, he's forcing himself to write regularly--although, now that I look at his blog, he hasn't posted very regularly recently. For the sake of this posting, let's just pretend he has.

Anyway, since I enjoy writing and since I often forget that I enjoy writing until I start writing, I thought having my own daily feature would force me to post on a regular basis, as well as ideally improving this blog somewhat. But posting Three Beautiful Things is not really my style. I can manage one beautiful thing, but only if I have one other thing that I can bitch about to balance things out. So with that in mind, I give you:

Rob Dow's World presents:

Daily Win and Fail

Someday, perhaps for Christmas Saturnalia, someone who knows what he or she is doing might create a fancy logo for this header. As it stands now, what you see is what you get.

You're probably wondering what this feature is all about. Well, I haven't settled on one idea just yet. But for now, it will (probably) consist of (at least) two sections: Win and Fail. The criteria for determining these two are pretty simple: "Win" kicks ass and "Fail," well, if you don't understand what "fail" signifies, just go to the FAIL Blog.

Anyway, onto our first winners!

Win: The shoe thrower!

Now, I'm not advocating throwing objects at the president or anyone else, but if you have to throw an article of clothing, shoes are the way to go! A shirt just won't make it to your target, particularly if it's one of those lightweight cotton button-down shirts. Pants have the same problem, and even if you throw your jeans, you're still left standing there (or getting tackled by security) in your undies. Speaking of undies, they would make great projectiles, particularly if they're soiled, and socks would as well, but it's almost impossible to take off one's underwear or socks without first having to remove other garments. Although, years ago I went to this party and some girl was able to take off her bra and panties without taking off her shirt or pants....

Anyway, unless you're the girl at the party, shoes are your best bet. Now, I realize that many journalists have been claiming that throwing one's shoes has a symbolic meaning in the Arab world, but I take that with a grain of salt since these idiots haven't gotten anything right about the Arab world in my lifetime, except the one time one of them admitted there's lots of oil there.

Of course, there are doubters:



But over the years I've learned that anything Mike Myers has done since So I Married an Axe Murderer isn't worth paying attention to.

Anyway, the new shoe bomber has become a hero of sorts in the Middle East. Of course, Bush thinks (or at least claims with a straight face) that a journalist throwing his shoes at the president is a sign that freedom is on the march. I agree. I remember that press conference in 1979 during the Iran hostage crisis when Helen Thomas threw her red patent leather pump at President Carter.

Regardless, the shoe throwing incident has proven itself to be a win!



Fail: It snowed here:



Normally, I would be glad to see snow as it gives us a nice break from the six month long dreary, rainy Oregon winter. However, most people here in Eugene don't know how to drive in snow, and for some reason, many of them think that driving in snow is just like driving on dry pavement except you should go a lot faster and ride the bumper of the person in front of you (usually either Cathy or me). As a result, going out in a snowstorm becomes a game of Russian Roulette. Fail!



Well, I hope you've enjoyed the pilot episode of Daily Win and Fail. Come back tomorrow for another episode! Good night!

Rob

Online Dating Fail

Hello everyone!

There's nothing more to add to this:



Tremendous.

If you haven't been there already, visit the FAIL Blog for more like this one. It's a daily must for me.

Rob

The Real Bill Ayers

Hello everyone!

Here's a repost from yesterday's New York Times Op-Ed Page that's very much worthy of a repost:

The Real Bill Ayers

By WILLIAM AYERS
Published: December 5, 2008
Chicago

IN the recently concluded presidential race, I was unwillingly thrust upon the stage and asked to play a role in a profoundly dishonest drama. I refused, and here’s why.

Unable to challenge the content of Barack Obama’s campaign, his opponents invented a narrative about a young politician who emerged from nowhere, a man of charm, intelligence and skill, but with an exotic background and a strange name. The refrain was a question: “What do we really know about this man?”

Secondary characters in the narrative included an African-American preacher with a fiery style, a Palestinian scholar and an “unrepentant domestic terrorist.” Linking the candidate with these supposedly shadowy characters, and ferreting out every imagined secret tie and dark affiliation, became big news.

I was cast in the “unrepentant terrorist” role; I felt at times like the enemy projected onto a large screen in the “Two Minutes Hate” scene from George Orwell’s “1984,” when the faithful gathered in a frenzy of fear and loathing.

With the mainstream news media and the blogosphere caught in the pre-election excitement, I saw no viable path to a rational discussion. Rather than step clumsily into the sound-bite culture, I turned away whenever the microphones were thrust into my face. I sat it out.

Now that the election is over, I want to say as plainly as I can that the character invented to serve this drama wasn’t me, not even close. Here are the facts:

I never killed or injured anyone. I did join the civil rights movement in the mid-1960s, and later resisted the draft and was arrested in nonviolent demonstrations. I became a full-time antiwar organizer for Students for a Democratic Society. In 1970, I co-founded the Weather Underground, an organization that was created after an accidental explosion that claimed the lives of three of our comrades in Greenwich Village. The Weather Underground went on to take responsibility for placing several small bombs in empty offices — the ones at the Pentagon and the United States Capitol were the most notorious — as an illegal and unpopular war consumed the nation.

The Weather Underground crossed lines of legality, of propriety and perhaps even of common sense. Our effectiveness can be — and still is being — debated. We did carry out symbolic acts of extreme vandalism directed at monuments to war and racism, and the attacks on property, never on people, were meant to respect human life and convey outrage and determination to end the Vietnam war.

Peaceful protests had failed to stop the war. So we issued a screaming response. But it was not terrorism; we were not engaged in a campaign to kill and injure people indiscriminately, spreading fear and suffering for political ends.

I cannot imagine engaging in actions of that kind today. And for the past 40 years, I’ve been teaching and writing about the unique value and potential of every human life, and the need to realize that potential through education.

I have regrets, of course — including mistakes of excess and failures of imagination, posturing and posing, inflated and heated rhetoric, blind sectarianism and a lot else. No one can reach my age with their eyes even partly open and not have hundreds of regrets. The responsibility for the risks we posed to others in some of our most extreme actions in those underground years never leaves my thoughts for long.

The antiwar movement in all its commitment, all its sacrifice and determination, could not stop the violence unleashed against Vietnam. And therein lies cause for real regret.

We — the broad “we” — wrote letters, marched, talked to young men at induction centers, surrounded the Pentagon and lay down in front of troop trains. Yet we were inadequate to end the killing of three million Vietnamese and almost 60,000 Americans during a 10-year war.

The dishonesty of the narrative about Mr. Obama during the campaign went a step further with its assumption that if you can place two people in the same room at the same time, or if you can show that they held a conversation, shared a cup of coffee, took the bus downtown together or had any of a thousand other associations, then you have demonstrated that they share ideas, policies, outlook, influences and, especially, responsibility for each other’s behavior. There is a long and sad history of guilt by association in our political culture, and at crucial times we’ve been unable to rise above it.

President-elect Obama and I sat on a board together; we lived in the same diverse and yet close-knit community; we sometimes passed in the bookstore. We didn’t pal around, and I had nothing to do with his positions. I knew him as well as thousands of others did, and like millions of others, I wish I knew him better.

Demonization, guilt by association, and the politics of fear did not triumph, not this time. Let’s hope they never will again. And let’s hope we might now assert that in our wildly diverse society, talking and listening to the widest range of people is not a sin, but a virtue.

William Ayers, a professor of education at the University of Illinois at Chicago, is the author of “Fugitive Days” and a co-author of the forthcoming “Race Course.”

Rob

Done (almost)!

Hello everyone!

My senior thesis is done and turned in! That means that I have one final exam on Monday, and provided I pass all my classes (things are looking promising right now), I'll be a college graduate within a matter of days! Hooray!

And of course, this means I'll be blogging like crazy now that I won't have homework. So bust out your reading glasses and strap on your seat belts because I'm going to be unemployed and bored in no time!

But not just yet. I still need some recovery time.

In the meantime, let me leave you with a nugget of knowledge I learned from college:



Rob