Saturday, December 20, 2008

DW&F: Jerry Brown and Brown Clouds

Hello everyone!

It's 11:30 pm, and I'm way beyond tired. It's been a long day of battling traffic and long lines throughout town, including what seemed like six hours at the post office. Yes, we spent today doing our obligatory late December ritual of buying lots of stuff to give to people we love in order to remind them that we love them. 'Tis the season! Fa-la-la-la-la!

What I'm trying to say is that I might half-ass it tonight. But remember, I'm not getting paid for this!

Sorry, but I couldn't resist.

Daily Win and FAIL!

Win: Jerry "Freakin'" Brown

Just read this article.

I also like the way the picture makes it look like he's about to flick a booger at someone. Prop 8 supporters, maybe? Win!

FAIL: People who fart at the post office

I'm talking about people who fart near a crowd of people who, for whatever reason, can't get away and have to stand there and breathe in the ghastly stench while simultaneously feeling obligated to not deviate from societal norms such as covering one's nose, waving away the smell, or going on a witch hunt to identify and ridicule the offender, thereby dissuading others from committing the same faux-pas. What I'm trying to say is whoever smelt it, probably didn't dealt it, and yet was stuck dealing with it!

Today while standing in line at the post office, someone dropped a stinkbomb that was so foul that I think I threw up in my mouth a little. Seriously. It had to have been in my top ten (or bottom ten depending on one's perspective) farts that I've ever had the displeasure of smelling. Sadly, none of my own farts make the top ten list, but then I'm probably biased.

Anyway, we'd been waiting at least 45 minutes and were near the front of the line when the bomb was dropped, so we had to just stand there and inhale the gas that came out of someone else's anus, otherwise we'd lose out place and have to go to the back of the line. Talk about choosing the lesser of two evils! And did I mention that there was no air circulation, either? It just sat there and lingered in an invisible toxic cloud of nastiness that would not disperse! At least I now know what hell smells like!

The interesting thing was that there were also several other people waiting in line, including the perpetrator, yet no one else moved, either. We all just stood there breathing this disgustingly foul stench and nobody even said anything, presumably because that would make whoever dealt it feel uncomfortable. Of course, if someone decided to light a cigarette in that line, my guess is that most of the other people would have a conniption fit with no concern for the feelings of the smoker. It's an interesting world in which we live.

And yes, I realize cigarette smoke is deadly. But had you been there with me today, you'd realize it's not the only deadly gas a person can emit. FAIL!

Bonus win: The above photo was taken by me! I'll admit, it's not a great FAIL, per se, but I'm happy with it! For those of you who can't see it very well, it's a label from the Office Max at the 29th and Willamette shopping center that says, "Motion Picture Horse Ruler," in front of rulers with pictures of lion (not horse) cubs. Basically, these are sort of holographic pictures that, if you rotate the ruler, makes it looks like the lions are walking. But they don't make the lions look anything like horses, other than the fact that they're both four-legged mammals. Hence, the FAIL! Granted, this FAIL is no FAILboat, but I think it's pretty good for my first FAIL. So, "Win"!

Well, look at that. It's well past midnight, and just a few days into my pledge to blog every day, I've already skipped a day. ROBFAIL!

fail owned pwned pictures


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