I Don't Get a Scholarship, but You Get My Bitter Commentary!

Hello everyone!

What a crappy week.

I found out that I didn't get the Ford Scholarship that I interviewed for last week. For those who don't know, the Ford Scholarship has nothing to do with the car, but a local timber baron named Ford who built up this big logging company and then died and left behind a foundation that awards scholarships. But this isn't just any scholarship, this is one that would have paid 90% of my schooling all the way through until I got my Bachelor's. There were over 2800 people who applied, and only 186 interviewed for 100 scholarships. So I thought I had a pretty good chance, and let myself get my hopes up high.

It really sucked when I checked the mail and saw the envelope clearly had one piece of paper inside instead of a big packet of forms and crap that the winners surely got. I've spent the last couple days wondering what I did wrong, and I'm having trouble, to be quite honest. I mean, I didn't leave the interview thinking I said something stupid. I didn't stumble over my responses, nor contradict myself. I felt relaxed, confident, and knowledgeable. The only thing I can think of is they didn't agree with my politics. Since I am a Political Science major, most of the questions had to do with my political views, and while I was honest, I chose my words carefully to say what I really felt. And all the questions they asked were things that I had previously thought about, so I was prepared, and my responses were thought-out instead of regurgitating what pundits say. I guess that's not what they wanted to hear.

So now I'll go to the big University and have to borrow $20,000 or so to get through school. Oh well, I'd rather be in debt and be who I am than try to be someone else for money. I already did that, but hated it and decided to go to school.

Besides, who am I kidding--it really wouldn't make any sense for a timber company to sponsor a tree hugger like me!

So, I went through the rest of my week already moping a little, and then I came across this:

Divided Congress approves Iraq war funds

By Richard Cowan and Steve Holland

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A divided U.S. Congress on Thursday approved $100 billion to keep fighting the war in Iraq, as Democrats pledged to resurrect failed attempts to force President George W. Bush to withdraw troops.

Passage of the legislation capped a four-month struggle between Bush and the new Democratic-led Congress over the increasingly unpopular Iraq war, now in its fifth year.

Underscoring Democratic division, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi of California voted against it and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada voted for it.

Three Democratic senators running for president -- Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York, Barack Obama of Illinois and Christopher Dodd of Connecticut -- opposed providing money with no withdrawal deadlines. Joseph Biden of Delaware, also a presidential hopeful, voted yes.

Great leadership there, Biden. Hey, now we know where you stand.

With this latest installment, the United States will have allocated more than $565 billion for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan since 2001, according to the Congressional Research Service. Most of the money has gone to fight in Iraq.

Gee, and my community college is underfunded by over $8 million this year, so they're going to have to make cuts AGAIN. LCC could use just .00141% of what we've spent on the wars to stay solvent, but it ain't happening. Hell, just .008% of what they just allocated this time would do. It's nice to see where our priorities lie.

Bush pleaded for patience but warned of more tough times ahead. "It could be a bloody -- it could be a very difficult August," he told reporters at the White House.

Scare tactics--that's his M.O.

He also made clear September would be an important period, when the U.S. commander in Iraq, Gen. David Petraeus, will report on the impact of the troop buildup and make a recommendation on how to proceed.

The House voted 280-142 for the emergency funding bill, while the Senate passed it 80-14.

What a bunch of spineless cowards. What part of 72% do you people not understand?

White House spokesman Alex Conant said Congress should be congratulated for providing U.S. troops with the funding and flexibility they need.

"Rather than mandate arbitrary timetables for military operations, the legislation enables our servicemen and women to follow the advice of commanders on the ground," Conant said.

Those commanders are there because the ones who questioned the Bush administration's policies were forced to resign and were replaced by a bunch of "yes-men".

On May 1, Bush vetoed a Democratic bill that would have begun withdrawing U.S. soldiers from Iraq by October 1 and Democrats did not have the votes to reverse him.

Lawmakers approved the revamped bill just before leaving for a long Memorial Day recess as war funds were running out.

The Republican president is expected to promptly sign into law the bill, which for the first time would set a series of "benchmarks" to measure progress in Iraq and ties a small amount of non-military U.S. aid to that progress.

Yeah, but if the benchmarks aren't met, Iraq loses non-military aid--meaning reconstruction and humanitarian aid. So basically, if the puppet Iraq government doesn't get its act together and start being more puppity, the Iraqi people are going to have to pay. How is this supposed to end the fighting, again? Oh yeah, it's not.

"This is a token. This is a small step forward. Instead we should have a giant step forward into a new direction," Pelosi said.

This isn't a 'token', it's a 'joken'. (Did you see what I just did there? It's punny!)

PELOSI PLEDGES NEW DRIVE FOR DEADLINES

U.S. anti-war groups slammed Democrats for allowing the bill to pass.

Rightfully so.

Pelosi said Democrats would quickly resume their drive to impose deadlines for pulling U.S. combat troops out of Iraq.

Can I have a word with you, Nan and the other Democrats? Why stop your drive and then resume it? Why not just grow a set and keep fighting non-stop? It's what the public wants you to do, and it's why you got elected in the first place, morons! Tell all the Democrats that nobody is going to fault them for trying and losing. We're already on your side. What we can't stand is a bunch of quitters. That's what the righties keep calling you. Don't prove them right. They're already saying you want to surrender in Iraq, despite the fact that you've got a huge majority on your side. Now it's going to be about how you guys backed down, and that's just going to add to the Democrat=surrenderer mentality. You've quit trying to quit. That makes you a "double-quitter" in right-wing world.

The Republicans don't have to prove themselves anymore. All they have to do is sit back and let you trip over yourselves, just like you're doing now, and then say, "See, I told you so." I'm sure they're ecstatic about you guys now.

She said she would put on the House agenda a bill to repeal Congress' 2002 authorization of the Iraq war and said Democrats would use next year's military spending bills to try to end the war that has killed at least 3,420 U.S. soldiers and wounded more than 34,000. Iraqis have suffered far worse casualties.

Yeah, so many casualties they can't count them all.

According to a CBS News/New York Times poll, 76 percent of Americans believe the war is going somewhat or very badly for the United States and only 20 percent said Bush's recent troop increase is making a positive difference.

So it's up to 76% now. Still, those 24% knuckle-dragging, window-licking, droolers never quit, do they?

Congressional Republicans are beginning to talk about the possible need for a change in direction within a few months.

Wow, they're "beginning to talk" about something obvious to everyone else. They must be getting ready for the 2008 elections. I can see it now: "Vote Republican and get us out of Iraq!"

Incidentally, I spent 15 minutes trying to come up with with some sort of "elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about"/Republican "elephant" pun here, but I couldn't. Hey, I'm not getting paid for this.

One influential Republican senator, John Warner of Virginia, said a new U.S. strategy might be needed by July if problems in Iraq did not improve.

Let me get this straight: if things don't get better, we may have to try something else. He just now figured that out! What is he, in third grade?

Incidentally, I have no problem with third graders. I just think they need a bit more education before becoming Senators. Seventh grade, at least.

House Republican leader John Boehner of Ohio, his voice cracking with emotion, denounced the insurgents in Iraq and said the United States must prevail.

Heh-heh. I got a "Boehner".

Besides buying more ammunition, armored vehicles and aircraft for the wars, the spending bill provides more aid for countries ranging from Lebanon to Liberia and gives $185.5 million to help refugees and others displaced in Iraq, Afghanistan and African countries.

Aw, we're helping the refugees. That's nice of us. What are they fleeing? A brutal, genocidal regime in Africa and... oh, us.

But wait, there's more news:

Report Says Iraq Problems Were Expected

By KATHERINE SHRADER

WASHINGTON (AP) - Intelligence analysts predicted, in secret papers circulated within the government before the Iraq invasion, that al-Qaida would see U.S. military action as an opportunity to increase its operations and that Iran would try to shape a post-Saddam Iraq.

The top analysts in government also said that establishing a stable democracy in Iraq would be a "long, difficult and probably turbulent process."

Well, duh. It's not that much of a surprise anymore. The surprising part is that no matter how "official" reports get released, even ones from Bush's own military advisers, that say that they knew it was going to be bad, they went ahead with it anyway. This means that either things are working out exactly the way the Bush administration planned, and they really want us to be there permanently, or they're just a bunch of bumbling idiots who are incapable of doing anything right. I'll let you decide.

Meanwhile, how are the Republicans (and many Democrats) that just voted for more of the same-old going to spin this? Good question:

Some Republicans rejected the committee's work as flawed. The panel's top Republican, Sen. Kit Bond of Missouri, said the report's conclusions selectively highlight the intelligence agencies' findings that seem to be important now, distorting the picture of what was presented to policy-makers.

There you go. When Bush cites bogus info in his State of the Union speech as justification to invade a country that a group made up of many people in his administration have wanted to invade years before he became president and years before anyone had heard of said bogus info, it's OK. But when anyone points out the truth about the war, no matter how obvious it is, they're "distorting the picture". Right.

I wish my logic was that selective. Maybe when I take my next Spanish test, I'll tell the instructor (en español, claro) to only count the answers I get right. Then when he points out the ones I get wrong, I can say he's "distorting the picture"!

Then I'll tell the FAFSA people that they're "selectively highlighting" my student debt, and that if they just focused on how much money I've already spent, they'd actually owe me money!

Rob

Appointed Hobblers of Government

Hello everyone!

Here's an editorial from today's New York Times. Enjoy:

May 18, 2007

Editorial

Appointed Hobblers of Government

Across six years, the Bush administration has mocked all standards of conflict of interest by choosing private industry zealots for high regulatory posts — where they worked to roll back hundreds of rules on transportation, workplace and mine safety, the environment and other issues. The latest in this subversive chain must surely take the fox-in-the-henhouse statuette: President Bush has nominated Michael Baroody, lobbyist for the powerful National Association of Manufacturers, to lead the Consumer Product Safety Commission.

If approved by the Senate, Mr. Baroody would be in charge of regulating corporate members of his association that have run up millions of dollars in civil fines for violating the commission’s safety rules affecting millions of consumers.

As if the White House’s colossal sellout to business power was not evident enough, Mr. Baroody’s executive friends at N.A.M. are sending him off with a lucrative forget-me-not — a $150,000 severance payment. Compensation experts find this extraordinary for someone supposedly volunteering for government service in behalf of taxpayers.

As a lobbyist for the N.A.M., Mr. Baroody was a key figure in industry’s successful campaign to water down commission standards requiring notice from companies about defective products, from toys to appliances. He has lobbied to limit the liability of asbestos makers in damage suits. He has lobbied against the growing statehouse campaign to require safer burning cigarettes, arguing this is a national issue. Imagine the priority this safety concern would receive from an agency run by Mr. Baroody.

The White House insists its ethical guardians find everything on the up and up. That’s neither surprising nor remotely reassuring. Democrats in the Senate are already trying to block this latest attempt at trashing government from within. If Mr. Bush decides to circumvent Congress with a recess appointment, the nation will see more clearly than ever that this administration puts the interests of corporations over that of citizens.

Rob

Feel the Andy Kaufman Love and I'm 50!

Hello everyone!

Can you believe it? This is my 50th post! To celebrate, I'm going to take the night off. Before I go, let me to introduce my guest host, Mr. Andy Kaufman! Take it away, Andy:















Rob

How about a "Terrorist Dollywood"?

Hello everyone!

I came across this article this morning. Here's the first part of it:

Iraq a "terrorist Disneyland" if U.S. goes: expert

By Mark Trevelyan, Security Correspondent
Reuters
Tuesday, May 15, 2007; 10:53 AM

LONDON (Reuters) - A U.S. troop pullout from Iraq would leave the country as a potent launchpad for international terrorism and Washington would be forced to go back in within a couple of years, a leading al Qaeda expert said on Tuesday.

Rohan Gunaratna told a security conference at Lloyd's of London insurance market that Iraq, like Afghanistan in the 1990s, would become a "terrorist Disneyland" where al Qaeda could build up its strength unchallenged.

I'm fascinated by this. All day long, I've been trying to imagine what a "terrorist Disneyland" would look like. What kind of rides would it have? Sleeper Cells of the Caribbean? Dumbo the Flying Dirty Bomb? The Haunted Mullah? Cutaneous Anthrax in Wonderland? Bumper Car-Bombs? Osama's Fatah Adventure? Those wacky spinning tea cups?

Also, since the 9/11 hijackers were trained in Florida, not California, shouldn't it actually be "terrorist Disney World"? I'd even settle for a "terrorist Sea World" or a "terrorist Busch Gardens". Maybe it's the whole Anheuser-Busch connection--Islamic terrorists wouldn't be caught dead in a theme park owned and operated by a beer company. Then again, maybe they would want to go there so they could blow it up.

And just what does "terrorist Disneyland" mean anyway? Does it mean Iraq will become a place where families from all around the world max out their credit cards to go to visit? Does it mean that instead of dozens, sometimes hundreds of people dying every day there, there will be bunch of idiots dressed like rodents? I bet I know what kind of car they'd drive. This guy would make a good president of "Terrorist Disneyland". Hey, it could be worse.

Anyway, I'm going to look for a new hobby so I won't have the urge to write ridiculous postings such as this one.

Rob

I Sell Out to Nike

Hello everyone!

Have you seen the new Nike ad? Here it is:

And to think, they started out as a little company right here where I live, but now they're worldwide. Hooray for "free" markets!

Rob

Because Cutting and Pasting is a Quick and Easy Way to Blog

Hello everyone!

I liked today's Pearls Before Swine comic so much I decided to steal it and claim it as my own. So without further ado:



Rob

Read This or You'll Die a Horribly Painful Death in the Next 48 Hours!

Hello everyone!

So as all both of my readers probably know, I've been doing the MySpace thing for a while now. It's mostly been a good experience. It has gotten me back in contact with people I haven't talked to or seen in years. It allows me to read friends' other blogs. It has exposed me to bands that I wouldn't otherwise know about. It has allowed us to spread the word to Lane students about the debit card (253 "friends" and counting!). And even though MySpace is owned by the evil Rupert Murdoch, I consider it an overall positive thing.

However, not everything is great. There's a feature called "bulletins" where a MySpacer can post a message so that all the people on that person's "friends list" can see it. Now, in theory, this is a great way to send out a general message to everyone and avoid having to send a message to each person individually. But instead, the bulletin feature usually ends up being filled with scams about pit bull exterminations, annoying useless quizzes, "repost this or else" type chain letters (not to be confused with chain mail), and other crap. I came across one example that was so bad, I just had to share it with all both of my readers, along with my thoughts. Enjoy:

Subject: We Miss You!!

Body: It may take you two minutes to read this, but if you do not take the time to read this you are one of the people this post is talking about.

You stay up for 16 hours

He stays up for days on end.

Ok, this must be about tweekers.

You take a warm shower to help you wake up.

He goes days or weeks without running water.

More tweeker talk.

You complain of a "headache", and call in sick.

He gets shot at as others are hit, and keeps moving forward.

Apparently this tweeker lives in Detroit. (Bah-dum-siss!)

You put on your anti war/don't support the troops shirt, and go meet up with your friends.

He still fights for your right to wear that shirt.

Oh, I see. This isn't anti-drug propaganda. It's pro-war propaganda.

Hey, I didn't know the Iraqis wanted to make it illegal to wear shirts in the US. Aren't Muslims all about covering up with burkas? Maybe they just want the nonbelievers to go topless.

You make sure you're cell phone is in your pocket.

He clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to his dog tags.

Wow, they're not wasting any time laying it on thick. Apparently either all soldiers are Christian or the military is now forcing them to wear crosses. Decide for yourself which is less unlikely.

You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you.

He knows he may not see some of his buddies again.

That's pretty cliché but true. Maybe we should end the war now, so he'd get to see his buddies. Just saying.

You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls.

I walk down the beach staring at all the pretty girls? Isn't that a presumptuous thing to say? My wife would understandably be pissed if I did that. Besides, the beaches around here aren't much fun to walk down in the pouring rain.

He patrols the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists.

Maybe some of the "insurgents and terrorists" are actually just regular people who are pissed that their home got bombed to hell. Sometimes they're just people with names that sound similar to people who are pissed that their home got bombed to hell. I'm not defending, just clarifying.

You complain about how hot it is.

Right now, I'm not complaining about how hot it is. It actually hailed today.

He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow.

"Not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow"? Who the hell wrote this, someone who writes for Hallmark cards?

You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong.

He doesn't get to eat today.

He didn't get to eat today? Here's an idea: Maybe Halliburton shouldn't have received that no-bid contract by its former CEO and our current Vice President to provide food for the soldiers. They don't seem to be doing a very good of a job if the soldiers don't get to eat for a day. Oh, but I guess I'm just "complaining".

Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes.

He wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure his weapons are clean.

My maid? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

You go to the mall and get your hair redone.

He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today.

I've never gotten my "hair redone", much less at a mall. This person obviously doesn't know me very well.

You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over.

He's told he will be held over an extra 2 months.

That sucks. It's also one of the things the "protesters" have been "complaining" about. The 2 months, not the 5 minutes, that is.

You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight.

I don't have a girlfriend. My wife won't let me.

He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home.

Maybe if this guy didn't spend all his time waiting for the mail, he might have time to eat, change his clothes, and brush his teeth.

You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday.

He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume.

Smells his love's perfume? Uh-uh---uh...

Retch!





































Sorry about the delay, but I threw up all over my keyboard and had to clean it up. It took a few minutes.

Where were we? Oh yes:

You roll your eyes as a baby cries.

He gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and wonders if they'll ever meet.

I don't "roll my eyes as a baby cries," even though it rhymes. Instead, I roll my eyes as I read bulletins like this.

You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything.

He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and remembers why he is fighting.

Wow! I didn't know it was possible to cram so much bullshit into one sentence! Good thing our military has never tortured or killed "the innocent". The subtle racist overtones ("their own people") were a nice touch, too.

You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men like him.

No, I make fun of ridiculous bulletins like this piece of crap. And really, it's so easy...

He hears the gunfire, bombs and screams of the wounded.

Unfortunately, most of the bombs and gunfire come from our soldiers, and most of the screams come from innocent Iraqis.

You see only what the media wants you to see.

He sees the broken bodies lying around him.

Right, it's always the media's fault. Who "broke" most of the bodies again?

You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't.

Well, in my defense it would be about a 9 hour drive each way.

He does exactly what he is told even if it puts his life in danger.

I don't know if I'd be proud of that, but to each his own...

You stay at home and watch TV.

He takes whatever time he is given to call, write home, sleep, and eat.

Wait, didn't you say, "He doesn't get to eat today"?

You crawl into your soft bed, with down pillows, and get comfortable.

He tries to sleep but gets woken by mortars and helicopters all night long.

I've got a great idea! If we all just stop getting a good night's sleep, we can stop feeling guilty that the soldiers don't get undisturbed sleep!

If you support your troops, re-post this with "WE MISS YOU"

If you don't support your troops well, then don't re-post, it's not like you know the men and women that are dying to preserve your right.

And what MySpace bulletin would be complete without making some sort of judgment about the recipient and guilt tripping him or her to repost your stupid bulletin? But alas, I guess it worked on the person who posted it for me to see in the first place.

Look, I know the soldiers are going through hell. But don't blame me. I had nothing to do with it, at least not directly (I know I drive a car and use plastics, but I never made the decision that our society should rely so much on petroleum products. Cars and petrochemicals were around long before I was born). I was also against the war from the start, along with many other people. But that's not why we're losing. It wouldn't matter if all 300 million or so of us Americans protested in the streets or not, or if we posted blogs like this or not, we're losing because there's nothing to win.

There's no one to surrender for "the enemy" and no one to sign a peace treaty. As David Cross once said, "Are we going to wake up one morning and turn on the news and find out that every terrorist is dead? 'Yep, we got every last one of them'" (That was a rough paraphrase--I couldn't find the original quote anywhere online). But if we can't kill all the "bad guys", then what? Threaten them into submission? How do you threaten a suicide bomber? You're essentially saying, "I'll kill you before you kill yourself." How is that supposed to work? It doesn't. It just creates more of a problem.

Nope, the only way the war will end is if we leave. That's the only way. Sorry, but it's true. We've already lost. We lost the moment we went in.

I just want the war to end. So do 63% (or so) of Americans. And right now, that's the only sort of support we can give to the soldiers (I hate the word "troop"--it's another example of deception by word choice).

No amount of bogus MySpace bulletins or "Support our Troops" stickers on SUVs (the ultimate irony) is going to help them. They need to come home to their friends and family and go through some serious therapy so they can come to terms with what they've been through. That's apparently not in the cards for now, though. So even when the war is over, we're still going to have to deal with the aftermath. Goody.

Oh well. But hey, Cathy and I are getting a new couch and loveseat delivered tomorrow! Woo-hoo!

Rob