Hooray for Death!

Hello everyone.

In my last post, I mentioned that fall is here, which technically wasn't true, but I meant that it felt like fall.  Well, now fall is officially here, and it's currently 82 degrees.  The forecast for tomorrow calls for a high of 90.

If this were, say, Phoenix, the weather would be pretty normal.  For North Idaho--mind you, we're less than 100 miles from the Canadian border--it's downright crazy.  I've already talked about how the global warming deniers have been silent all summer, and I fully expect that as soon as we have the inevitable big snowstorm or cold spell this winter, they'll be quick to point out how it's "evidence" the global warming is nothing but a big scam to make Al Gore rich, and that the oil and coal companies really have our best interests at heart when they fund focus groups with the stated purpose of denying and/or downplaying global warming.

The worst thing about this weather is that we've already had a few hard overnight frosts, so most of our garden plants (including all out tomato plants) are history, even though the daytime temperatures are ideal for growing.  Sigh.

Anyway, I've spent the last several blog postings yammering on about beer, which is something I obviously love to drink and blog about.  But I realize not everyone cares.  So today, I'm going to avoid beer talk, aside from the brief beer mention in this paragraph, which you're already past.  Instead, I'm going back to my roots: politics.

Politics

Even though the 2012 presidential election is over a year away, the circus that media pundits like to call "campaign season" is in full swing, and since it's pretty much a given (though not entirely) that Obama will be the Democratic nominee, on the Republican side there's a host of idiots clamoring to do the bidding of the wealthy elite that run this country. 

The candidates have already had several debates, and they've certainly said some interesting things.  But I've been more interested in the crowd reactions than the meaningless catchphrases and other nonsense they try to pass off as responses to questions.  At the debate earlier this month at the Reagan library in Simi Valley, Brian Williams asked George Bush wannabe Rick Perry about the death penalty.  Take a look:



At the mere mention that the state of Texas has killed 234 people, more than any other state, the crowd breaks into applause. I'm not talking about a few people clapping, but widespread applause, complete with a couple of "whoos" and whistles.

As I said on Facebook at the time: regardless of your feelings are on the death penalty, it's nothing to cheer about. A person being killed, even when killed by a state, and even if the person is a really, really bad person, is still a tragedy. Every time someone is executed, someone else loses a son or daughter, or a parent, or a spouse, or a friend. And of course, the person on death row is likely there for committing murder in the first place, which adds to the overall tragedy.

But the knuckledraggers in the crowd cheered the death of 234 people a year as if their favorite football team had just scored a touchdown.

This sort of behavior reveals an incredible lack of empathy for fellow human beings, as well as an incredible lack of critical thinking.  It points to a mindset in which everything in the world is black and white, and people are all either good guys, or bad guys who deserve to die. And it also shows a disturbing willingness to wholeheartedly embrace authoritarianism, where the government is never wrong in its judgement and punishment. That last one is exceptionally odd to see among self-styled "small government" Republicans.

Who decides who gets executed? Juries, which are made of people like me and you, as well as the guy down the road with the Camaro on cinder blocks in his front yard. Also, judges, who are appointed by self-serving politicians, or who themselves become politicians to get elected to their post. And don't forget the lawyers who fight over the cases. And the politicians who passed laws to permit the death penalty. Not exactly the salt of the earth.

In short: dumb people often make dumb decisions.

And let's not forget that numerous times people have been executed only to later be found innocent.

There was just a recent high-profile example in the Troy Davis case, where a number of the witnesses later recanted their testimony and said the police pressured them to testify, and some said that one of the other of the witnesses actually confessed to the murder. Some of the victim's family members even tried to prevent the execution. Despite all the doubts, Troy Davis was executed anyway, quite possibly for no good reason. That's what the people in the crowd were cheering.

At the next debate, Wolf Blitzer asked Ron Paul a question about a hypothetical person with no insurance:



When Ron Paul was asked if the person with no insurance and who couldn't afford a life-saving procedure should just die, several people in the audience shouted "Yes!"

Unreal.  The people in the crowd apparently think you deserve to die if you don't buy insurance.  That sure gives a lot of power to those health insurance companies, no?

Republicans hate the mandate in Obamacare, but I can't really see much of a difference between a system where you're compelled to buy private health insurance by the government, and one in which you're compelled to buy private health insurance because you might die if you don't.  I guess the latter provides Republicans with the illusion of freedom, so there's that.

Here's the thing about both of these debate incidents: If you agree with the crowd reactions in either of the videos, you no longer get to call yourself "pro-life." The same goes if you support the numerous wars/bombing campaigns/occupations/drone strikes happening across the world by our government. There's nothing pro-life about any of it.  And if you're cheering death, you're a sociopath.

I don't know what has happened, but I remember when death used to be considered a tragedy.  Apparently, it's something to cheer about now.  And the downward spiral of our country continues.

In Closing

As much as I follow politics, I've been trying to keep all things political to a minimum here, mainly because it can be downright depressing.  This particular past has been especially so, at least for me, so I'll try to make my next post a bit more fun.  A while back I promised a blog posting about my chili recipe, so maybe I'll do that next.

Now, here it is, your moment of Tucker:

Rob

Odds and Ends

Hello everyone!

Well, I'm officially half way done with my summer classes. Today I took my final for my "History of Latin America" class, and I think it went well. This is the first time I've taken summer classes, and I actually like it. Instead of ten week long classes, I'm taking two classes in consecutive four week long blocks, one of which I just finished: the aforementioned Latin American one, and the other I'll start next week: "History of the Iraq War," which will be interesting because it's a history class about something that's ongoing. Or maybe it's a statement on the fact that the war has been going on for too long--that it started so long ago that it can now be classified as "historical."

In addition, I'm also taking two weekend seminar classes: Abolishing Nuclear Weapons, which happened last weekend, and The New Al Qaeda Threat, which will happen in a little over a week from now. Both the weekend seminars are taught by my insane Causes and Prevention of War professor from last fall. But each of these only require a 6-10 page paper, which is totally reasonable. I don't have to worry about any "pop-quizzes" that we had last fall. They were essentially midterms in which we had to write what amounted to an essay on the spot within 15 minutes.

Last week's seminar was interesting. After I first walked in and sat down, 6-8 football players sat down right next to me, all the while talking smack to each other. Now, I'm not certain they were football players, but they were very large men, they clearly knew each other well, and most of them were African-American.

I hate to say it, but the University of Oregon is so white that the odds are fairly high that any male black student is an athlete. Black women are pretty rare, or at least that's been my experience in my political science and history classes. However, this "whiteness" is pretty much the case throughout all of Eugene and Oregon in general, so much to the point that a guy in nearby Corvallis set up a booth at Farmer's Market with a sign that read, "Meet a Black Guy." If that's not bad enough, someone commented to the reporter that she and and friend "said they have black friends, and would be voting for Barack Obama for president." I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

Anyway, once these guys sat down, it was clear by the way they were talking to each other that they weren't very interested in being there, and my student/nerd instinct told me that they were going to keep talking to each other throughout the lecture, and I wouldn't be able to hear a thing. So I had to move. There was just one problem, though: if 6-8 black guys sit down next to one white guy, and the white guy gets up and walks away, what are the black guys going to think?

Maybe I was totally over-analyzing the situation, but I did come up with a "solution." I noticed one guy off by himself with a laptop plugged in and remembered that I had mine with me. So I walked over and asked, loudly enough for the football players to hear, if there was a place to plug in a laptop (I knew there was). The guy predictably said there was, and so I immediately sat down and plugged in my laptop. Success!

I was right about the football players talking, though, but some of them also decided to catch up on some sleep during the lecture. I don't know--I guess they have someone lined up to write their papers for them. But there was one other thing that I didn't expect: right after the lecture started, some woman sat down next to the other laptop guy, and the two proceeded to talk to each other (flirt) right in front of me during the course of the whole lecture. I guess I'm just expecting too much if I expect to be able to hear what the professor is saying. What an unreasonable jerk I am!

***

The other day, I heard one of the funniest stories I've heard in a long time. Amy, the produce lady at Market of Choice, apparently has a sister who waits tables at some snooty French restaurant. One day, she had an irate customer actually say this to her: "I've been to Paris, and I've had Soup-du-Jour, and this soup tastes nothing like it!"

I think it was this lady:

***

Hey look, it's the fashion police. Literally!

And here's a handy-dandy chart to help keep troublemakers like you from breaking the law!

Yes, you now can get arrested and sent to jail for not wearing your pants "properly." Apparently a wave of ill-fitting pants is terrorizing Flint, Michigan. I wonder what Michael Moore has to say about this?

Not only that, but if a cop doesn't like the way you're wearing your pants, that's reason enough to search you. Of course, that's the real purpose of all this. Remember that Fourth Amendment? You know, the one that protected us "against unreasonable searches and seizures"? Those were good times, but now they're gone. Of course, our old buddy Barack Obama didn't do us any favors on that one.

***

Since the right-wing knuckledraggers have nothing left but to blame Democrats for everything, some guy went above and beyond and bought himself a billboard:


Of course, he can't even claim to be original since God was apparently so angry he sent Democrats here to force your daughter to have gay sex and then have an abortion:


Anyway, the guy with the towers on fire billboard thinks he's some sort of a musician. If you go to his website, you can buy one of his CDs, featuring the cleverly-named song, "The Republican Song." Here are the lyrics taken directly from his website, complete with all the original typos and grammatical errors:

The Democrat secular progressive move,
political correctness is killing us too.
They want to take the money from the hard workin man,
and give it to the lazy folks that don't give a damn.

Chorus

Democrats and Liberals, shame on you,
don't punish us all just to please a few,
Your holdin people back while we're pickin up the slack,
and that's why we can't vote for a Democrat.
Oh no, a no, no, no, no, no, no...
Oh no, a no, no, no, no, no, nooo...
Yeah, your holding people back, while we're pickin up the tax,
Oh no, no please don't vote for a Democrat.

Now we're trying to win a war and wipe out the terrorists,
We're not fightin for oil we got plenty if we drill it.
But the liberals and the media are spreading their lies,
Get the hell out of our way and let our soldiers fight.

Chorus

Democrats and Liberals shame on you,
don't punish us all just to please a few.
No we can't afford to have another attack,
and that's why we can't vote for a Democrat.
Oh no, a no, no, no, no, no ,no...
Oh no, a no, no, no, no, no, no..
No we can't afford to have another attack,
Oh no, please don't vote for a Democrat.

Republicans, we're not perfect but we know the truth
We uphold the Constitution and the Golden Rule.
We believe a mans freedom is a God given right,
the USA is the beacon to the whole world in sight.

Chorus

Democrats and Liberals shame on you,
don't punish us all just to please a few.
our Constitution, Nation and God are under attack,
and that's why we can't vote for a Democrat.
Oh no, oh no, no, no, no, no, no...
oh no, oh no, no, no, no, no, no...
Our Constitution, Nation and God are under attack,
Oh no, please, oh no please, don't vote for a Democrat.

Our Constitution, Nation and God are under attack,
Oh no, please, oh no please, don't vote for a Democrat.

"Oh no, oh no, no, no, no, no, no" is right. I feel bad calling these lyrics because it's an insult to any lyric that's ever been written, even including ones written by Steve Perry. Seriously, that crap I took this morning could write a better song than this. The verdict:






Here's a much better song. Enjoy!



Rob

The Boogeyman Is Gonna Getcha!

Hello everyone!

Chris Bowers at Open Left has put up a great posting:

It must be really scary to be a conservative. To be one, you must live in constant fear of terrorists nuking the United States, of gay people on the verge of convincing you that you really enjoy sodomy, of Spanish becoming the official language of the United States next week, of every African-American voting seven or eight times in the next election, of radical Islam suddenly becoming the latest hip thing among kids across the country, of perpetual lesbian orgies in girls bathrooms in high schools across America, of liberals forcing everyone to become a vegan, of Christians being rounded up into concentration camps, and of Democrats outlawing private property if they were to ever take power again.

The rest of it can be found here, it's it's worth a read or two.

In the meantime, I plan on posting a bit more often in the near future, so stay tuned...

Rob

Ten Stupid Reasons to not Vote for Barack Obama

Hello everyone!

These days, it's really easy to compile a list of reasons to vote for someone. It's also easy to compile a list of reasons to not vote for someone. But I've discovered it's a bit challenging to compile a list of stupid reasons to not vote for someone! Yet that's what I did. So without any further ado, here is my list of 10 stupid reasons to not vote for Barack Obama:

Reason #1: He's a Muslim!

No he's not. But the bigger question is "So what if he was?" The assumption here is that Muslim=evil or Islam=terrorist.

I won't even get into whether or not Islam is evil because it's a stupid argument. If you think the whole religion is any more evil than any other religion, or that its followers are inherently evil, then you're blinded by your beliefs and are incapable of rational thought, and you might as well stop reading this. I'm sorry, but this whole "My God is better than yours argument" is idiotic, and it only leads to lots of dead people. You can believe all you want, but you don't know, and so it's stupid to argue about it. Even stupider is to make blanket statements about all the followers of a particular religion, especially when your religion has no shortage of skeletons in its closet. This is why I'm fanatically agnostic.

As far as equating Islam to terrorism, that's a fair comparison, but only if you ignore all the non-Muslim terrorists in recent history, such as the IRA, abortion clinic bombers, Timothy McVeigh, so-called eco-terrorists, Ted Kaczynski, the CIA, the Chinese government, the Soviets, etc.

But then there's the whole illogic of equating the actions of a few to an entire religion.

I know some people would say that there are more than a few. Well, think about this for a moment. There are about 1.5 billion Muslims worldwide, give or take a few hundred million. That's 1,500,000,000 people. Compare that with the population of Phoenix, AZ, which is about 1.5 million, or 1,500,000 people. If there were 1.5 million Muslim terrorists worldwide (there is no way to come up with a number, but still, this is an insanely huge number, and I really doubt it's anywhere near this high under most definitions), that would still only be 1 of every 1,000 Muslims, or less than 0.1%. Put it this way: it's about 1,000 miles from Chicago to Denver. Only one mile would be the "terrorist mile". So it's hardly fair to assume every follower of Islam is a terrorist, unless you're an ignorant, reactionary idiot.

Now, that's not to say that 1.5 million terrorists couldn't cause a whole lot of damage (and they aren't, which is why I think this number is way too high). But if you had to fight them, wouldn't you rather have the other 1,498,500,000 on your side?

Moreover, the definition of terrorist is so vague that anyone can be called a terrorist. I'm sure I could be called one simply for writing this blog. But don't worry, you're reading it, so that makes you a terrorist, too.

Regardless, none of this has anything to do with Barack Obama, so let's move on.

Reason #2: He was raised in a Muslim terrorist madrassa!

Wrong again. I've already talked about the Muslim-terrorist claim. As for the bogus madrassa claim, my guess is that a vast majority of people who keep repeating this have no idea what a madrassa is. I didn't until I first heard this.

I suppose "madrassa" is a scary foreign-sounding word to some. But really, madrassa (madrasah) is simply the Arabic word for school. But I could see how people who are afraid of foreign-sounding words that they don't understand would also be afraid of school, or at least education.

But I guess if you're a complete moron, you can buy the line of reasoning that forty years ago, some grade school teachers somewhere in Indonesia concocted this great plan to select one of their students to be a sort of Manchurian Candidate who would one day become President of the United States so that he could singlehandedly destroy the whole country and convert us, as well as the whole Western World, into a bunch of freedom-hating Muslims. You'd also have to believe that they then thought, "You know, this plan is too easy. Instead of having a white guy with a name like John Smith, let's choose a black man named Barack Hussein Obama! They'll never suspect him!"

Of course, this also supposes that our country is so fragile that one guy can tear it all apart without any trouble. I guess if you have a low enough opinion of this country, you might think that. But that would mean you hate America.

Now I know some people might ask, "Hey, isn't one guy singlehandedly destroying this country right now?" No, he isn't. He has had lots of help.

Anyway, let's move on to reason #3.

Reason #3a: But he's Muslim! Look at his middle name: Hussein! What does that tell you?

...and...

Reason #3b: But he's Muslim! Look at his last name: Obama! You know, it sounds like Osama! What does that tell you?

Nothing. Neither tells me anything. And it shouldn't tell anyone else anything, either. Shall we play, "What's in a name?"

• Joseph Lieberman and Joseph Biden would be horrible choices for president because their name is Joseph, and we all know Joseph Stalin was one of the most brutal dictators in history. Therefore, Lieberman and Biden would become dictators if elected president.
  

• John McCain, John F. Kennedy, John Adams, John Quincy Adams, John Tyler, John Edwards, John Kerry, John Negroponte, Andrew Johnson, Lyndon B. Johnson, John Lennon, Johnny Carson, Johnny Cash, Johnny Rotten, Johnny Walker, John Deere, Elton John, Johnson & Johnson, Trapper John, MD, Johns Hopkins, and Olivia Newton-John are all unqualified to be president because they all have "John" as part of their name. Who can forget another "John", John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Abraham Lincoln. You wouldn't want to vote for someone with connections to a notorious assassin, would you?

• Hillary Clinton is out of the question, too. Look at her initials: H.C. You know who else had H.C. in his initials? H.C.M., aka Ho Chi Minh, that's who. And Rodham? That's like Rodman, as in Dennis Rodman, the cross-dressing basketball player. And if that weren't enough, "Hillary" starts with an "H", and so does "Hitler". That would make her a cross-dressing, VietCong, Nazi secret agent! Well, your secret is out, Hitlery Nguyen Rodman Clinton!

Reason #4: Obama associates with people who hate America! That means he hates America!

Oh, brother. I have friends who used to do a lot of meth. Does that mean I used to do a lot of meth? I have friends who are gay. Does that mean I'm gay? I have friends who have been in jail. Does that make me a criminal? I associate with many women. Does that make me a woman?

Note: I'm not equating being gay and/or being a woman to doing a lot of meth and/or being a criminal. They're just all things I can't say about myself.

Then there's the whole exaggeration or complete misrepresentation of what was said in the first place. Here's a good comparison of the sound bites and the context of what Jeremiah Wright said. I mean really, he never said anything that was untrue. But I guess a loud, angry black man is too scary to some people. We can also get into whether or not the guy truly hates America, but then we'd have to look at his military service history in Vietnam and how he attended to Lyndon B. Johnson after the president had surgery, and that wouldn't make for a good sound clip.

At the same time as all of this, John McCain was endorsed by John Hagee, a guy who essentially said that New Orleans got what it deserved in Hurricane Katrina because of gays. I guess "God damn New Orleans" is OK, but "God damn America" is not. Either way, hardly anyone is saying McCain is unfit to be president because he sought out Hagee's endorsement, though that could be because there are plenty of other reasons McCain is unfit to be president.

Or there's Pat Robertson, a guy who agreed with another nutcase, Jerry Falwell, when two days after 9/11 he said, "I really believe that the pagans and the abortionists and the feminists and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who try to secularize America...I point the thing in their face and say you helped this happen." Robertson also called for Hugo Chavez's assassination. He endorsed Rudy Giuliani, but nobody blamed Giuliani for it.

These televangelist types are doing a great job at arguing for a separation of church and state, though I doubt that's what they have in mind.

Reason #5: But Rev. Wright is his "spiritual adviser"!

In order to believe this means anything, one must first have to be so ignorant to not know what the word "adviser" means. The word adviser means, "One who advises, or one who gives advice." It does not mean, "One who brainwashes." I can understand why there would be a mix up since it does involve religion, an institution whose leaders have been known from time to time to try to brainwash its followers.

Nevertheless, the idea that Obama naturally agrees with everything Jeremiah Wright says is bunk, especially given that Obama has clearly on a number of occasions come out and said he disagreed with many of the things Wright said.

None of this matters anymore, anyhow, since Obama left his church this weekend.

Reason #6: Obama doesn't put his hand on his heart during the National Anthem and refuses to say the Pledge of Allegiance!

Sigh.

This is based on one photo that appeared in Time magazine. Here's video of the "offending" incident:



So instead of putting his hand on his heart, he sings along. What an America-hater! Too bad he didn't sing louder in order to drown out that awful-sounding woman with a microphone.

Was he "supposed to" put his hand over his heart? According to USflag.org (yes, there is such a site):

During rendition of the national anthem when the flag is displayed, all present except those in uniform should stand at attention facing the flag with the right hand over the heart. Men not in uniform should remove their headdress with their right hand and hold it at the left shoulder, the hand being over the heart.

Well, there you go. Since they didn't remove their "headdress", I say they're all guilty of hating America. Except Hillary and that other woman as the rule apparently only applies to men.

Oh, and here's some video that I copied and pasted from snopes.com of Obama leading the Pledge of Allegiance in the Senate. Notice the hand over heart:





Ah, but who cares about the truth when there are plenty of half-truths to go around?

Reason #7: Obama clearly hates America. This is why he refuses to wear a flag pin!

Good! The flag pin was most likely made in China!

Frankly, I think we've had way too much of this bogus, superficial patriotism and not enough real concern and care for this country. Anyone can wear a pin or put a magnetic ribbon on an SUV (one of the most unintentionally ironic statements a person can make), but instead of hollow gestures, maybe we should try doing something that actually helps the country, such as providing health care, working to pay off our national debt, or simply not fighting unnecessary wars.

Reason #8: Michelle Obama clearly hates America. She said she was proud of America "for the first time." I've always been proud of America!

Really? You've always been proud of America? Were you proud when we were committing genocide against native people? Were you proud when slavery was legal and blacks were considered 3/5 of a person for congressional representational purposes? Were you proud when we had segregation? How about when we passed the Chinese Exclusion Act? Or when we interned Japanese-Americans during World War II? What about when we dropped two nuclear bombs (the only country to ever do so) on Japan, or when we firebombed and leveled German cities? Were you proud of that? Or does that not count because it was a long time ago?

How about more recently? Are you proud that we started detaining prisoners Soviet-style: overseas, indefinitely, and without charging them with a crime? Are you proud when thousands of people were dying in New Orleans during Katrina while the president laughed and strummed a guitar? How about when the previous president was impeached because he lied about having receiving sex? Or how about when the two presidents before him authorized arming Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden?

Maybe you should be proud of the fact that our country has the highest incarceration rate in the world, higher even than the Soviet Union in 1979.

Mentioning any of this does not mean a person hates the America. Nor does it mean that a person is not proud. But if we ever want this country to get better, we first have to come to terms with the fact that we're not perfect. If this country were a person, it would be a John Wayne-type character, strutting around completely oblivious to its faults, which everyone else can clearly see.

No, it's not hate if you believe the country can do better and expect it to do so.

Reason #9: He has no foreign policy experience!

Well, how well do people with foreign policy experience stack up?

Dick Cheney: Assistant to the President and then White House Chief of Staff under Ford, five terms as US Representative At-Large from Wyoming, House Minority Whip, Secretary of Defense under Bush I, Chairman of the Board and CEO of Halliburton, Vice President under Bush II, shot a guy in the face.

Donald Rumsfeld: Four terms as US Representative from Illinois's 13th district, Director of the United States Office of Economic Opportunity under Nixon, White House Chief of Staff and then US Secretary of Defense under Ford, Special Envoy to the Middle East under Reagan, Secretary of Defense again under Bush II, Architect of the Iraq Quagmire, used a machine to sign letters of condolences to families of soldiers killed in said quagmire, resigned in disgrace in 2006.

John McCain: Two terms as US Representative from Arizona's 1st district, elected four times as US Senator from Arizona, doesn't know the difference between Sunni and Shia, thinks Iran is harboring and training al Qaeda (hint: they're not).

Hillary Clinton: Former First Lady, twice elected as US Senator from New York, imagined gunfire during visit to Bosnia. Oh wait, maybe she didn't imagine it:



Anyway, with these kinds of results from experienced people, I'll think I'll take my chances with the new guy.

Reason #10: We don't know anything about him!

Two words: Goo-gle!

Well, I hope you find this list of reasons not to vote for Obama useful in your voting decisions. Vote early and often!

Rob

Rob Rips Off The Daily Kos

Hello everyone!

Today's blog is going to be another copy-and-paste job. This time I'm going to blatantly steal from the Daily Kos. I do this because I believe my readers deserve to read good blog postings every once in a while. Here goes:

Barack Obama Shows Disrespect For Rural Americans
by Hunter
Sat Apr 12, 2008 at 12:22:00 PM PDT

NEWSCASTER BOB: Good evening, and welcome to the news. A disturbing revelation tonight, as reports indicate the abusive treatment of prisoners in United States custody was specifically endorsed at the highest levels of government. Vice President Richard Cheney, then Secretary of State Colin Powell, National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, Attorney General John Ashcroft and CIA Director George Tenet specifically signed off on torture techniques like "waterboarding" that could be used on prisoners, including specific numbers of times some techniques could be used.

This contradicts frequent statements by the administration that these torture techniques were not used, and may have legal ramifications as --

PUNDIT 1: Bob, I'm going to have to break in here. We have breaking news that Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama today turned down a cup of coffee, asking for orange juice instead. Could this be the gaffe that brings down the Obama campaign? Let's talk to our panel of interchangeable political experts.

PUNDIT 2: This is remarkable, Interchangeable Pundit 1. Can a man be president if he turns down a cup of coffee? I think that shows a remarkable elitism -- just a shocking blunder, on his part. How will Obama connect with rural America if he doesn't show respect for them and their beverages?

PUNDIT 3: I agree, Interchangeable Pundit 2. I mean, Obama is trying to court small town voters -- where does he think he is, the Ritz? How many of these people does he think have ever heard of something called "orange juice?"

PUNDIT 1: Exactly, Pundit 3. I mean, you have to think he's just offended so many of these folks. I wrote a column last year about how much good, decent rural Americans like their morning coffee. These people don't know what "orange juice" is. They've never had it. To have some guy come in to their town and ask for "orange juice", like he was a Prussian king or something -- I mean, that's really not going to go down well with these old fashioned, everyday yokels. Really, really a blunder. It really shows his lack of respect for these small town Americans.

NEWSCASTER BOB: ...Um, all right -- thank you pundits. Getting back... um... getting back to our top stories today, presidential candidate John McCain on the campaign trail today once again asserted ties between Iraq, Iran and al Qaeda that intelligence and military experts have repeatedly said do not exist. This was after several similar statements yesterday, and is seen by some as damaging to the credentials of the self-styled foreign policy expert. McCain has remained steadfast in his support of a war that has become overwhelmingly unpopular, and --

PUNDIT 1: Bob, I'm sorry -- we again have breaking news on the campaign trail. In a big blow to his campaign, it seems Barack Obama has not done well in a game of bowling. He bowled quite badly -- let's again to our panel of Interchangeable Pundits for their reactions on this important developing story.

PUNDIT 2: A huge, huge blow to the Obama campaign. Obama is at huge risk of being seen as out of touch and elitist, here. I wrote a column about this just last year, about how important bowling is to rural Americans. Every small town hick in America knows how to bowl -- I really don't think these plaid-shirt-wearing tractor jockeys are going to be able to accept a president who does poorly at such a blue-collar, all American sport. It really smacks of elitism -- not hitting the pins, I just think that's an insult that all the half drunk rednecks out here in this part of the country, who really are looking for a president who understands them and their indoor sports.

PUNDIT 3: Remarkable, yet again. Not wanting a cup of coffee, doing badly at a game of bowling -- this is the sort of stuff that these slackjawed hill people really look down upon. Obama really has to show he is in touch with these farm country cow tippers, that he respects them. He's not doing it, with blunders like this. "Oh," Obama says, "no coffee, thanks, just bring me the juice of a squeezed tropical fruit" -- I just don't know that that's going to play with these four-tooth hayseeds and shack dwellers.

NEWSCASTER BOB: So Pundit 1, getting back to our original story, you don't think the war is a big story, in rural America, you think coffee and bowling scores are what these Americans want to hear about.

PUNDIT 1: Absolutely, Bob. I wrote a column about this a few months ago, how these fine, upstanding turnip farmers are tired of hearing about the war, and just want a good cup of coffee and to go bowling. No matter how inbred they may be, you have to admire the simplicity of their way of life. Not elitist at all.

PUNDIT 2: Totally agree. You have to take into account that rural Americans are a simple people. This coffee incident is really the kind of story that could resonate with these wholesome, beer swilling cow tippers.

PUNDIT 3: I agree as well. Very much so.

NEWSCASTER BOB: All right then, thank you pundits... In a related story tonight: one hundred years. That's how long one presidential candidate says troops may be in Iraq. Meanwhile, the death toll rises almost daily. We'll speak to several military experts tonight on whether the Iraq War is draining resources from what some call the "real" War On Terr--

PUNDIT 1: Bob, hold on, fresh breaking news here. It seems presidential candidate Barack Obama has stepped in it once again, by claiming that some small town Americans are "bitter." We're going to have a one hour breaking news special on this, right after this news program, but before that let's talk again to our political experts.

PUNDIT 2: This is -- this is staggering, Pundit 1. Just devastating to the campaign. You have a regular guy like John McCain, who is really in touch with these halfbreed nine-fingered dirt pickers, who really feels their pain at their telecommunication companies having to answer to federal laws, or who are really, really alarmed that the Iraq War won't be allowed to continue indefinitely, or who just want to do their patriotic part for encouraging free trade by outsourcing their town's jobs and industries, and then you've got Obama over here claiming they're "bitter"? Wow. I mean, you have to marvel at the blunder. John McCain's spokesman immediately came out with a statement that everything is fine, and that these rural patriots are really quite pleased at the job losses -- if those job losses happened, which the spokesman denies.

PUNDIT 3: I agree, this really helps John McCain. For Obama to claim these cowpie chuckers are bitter, or that these people who have lost their jobs have been losing hope -- well, that's just the gravest of elitist insults to these flyover country half-human Sears-shopping trailer park squatters. How dare he insult them like that, by calling them "bitter"? You know, in my last column I talked about these fine small town possum scrapers, and how valuable they are to the country. These people go to laundromats where you have to put the quarters in the machines yourself -- yourself! No joke, I'm not sure Obama can really relate to something like that. He's certainly never written a column on it, that's for sure.

PUNDIT 1: Probably too busy drinking orange juice! Ha! But seriously, I agree with your agreement. I mean, between wanting orange juice, doing badly at a sport, and claiming people who have lost their jobs are bitter, I'm just not sure what demographic he's still trying to appeal to. Certainly not the fine roadkill-stew-for-dinner folks that make up our small towns and rural areas. They don't care about complicated things like wars and job flight, they care about coffee and bowling and leaders who understand how much they like wars and job flight. And laundromats.

PUNDIT 2: I agree with both of your agreements with me. I wrote a column two weeks ago about these very same steak and potato halfwits, and what a treasure they were. Obama's losing them, by talking about things like jobs and orange juice. Huge mistake.

PUNDIT 3: Indeed, if I could agree again with my agreement, I'm going to be writing a column next week about these corn-bred Godbillies. I'm not sure Obama could understand them as well as you and I do, having not written any columns about them. I think all you have to do is listen to country music -- the music of the people, I might add -- and you'd hear that these pickup driving dynamite-fishers aren't bitter in the least at the closing factories. If anything, they're grateful for the free time.

NEWSCASTER BOB: Now, hold -- hold on a minute here. What you're basically saying, what you've been saying all night, in fact, is that our rural Americans are essentially too ignorant and uneducated to follow stories about the war, or torture, or the failing economy, or even their own lost jobs. Instead, they want to hear stories about bowling, coffee and whether or not someone said they might feel bitter. Don't you think that's a bit insulting to small town America -- that you're essentially calling them stupid, not able to grasp anything but the smallest and most trivial of stories?

PUNDIT 2: Hmm, sounds like somebody hasn't been writing any columns.

PUNDIT 3: I agree. War, torture, and the economy? What an elitist question. You know, you should visit these people sometime, you'd see how simple and upstanding they are. They do their own laundry, even -- it's inspiring, that's what it is.

NEWSCASTER BOB: All right, I'm just going to let this drop, I think we really need to get back to real news now. Coming up, Vice President Cheney eats a baby. Will Bush pardon the baby for not being tender enough, or leave it to the courts to decide? Coming up, an interview with the baby's parents, who have apologized to the Vice President for their baby not tasting as delicious as the Vice President had expect--

PUNDIT 1: OH MY GOD, BOB, I HAVE TO BREAK IN HERE -- OBAMA JUST PUT A NICKEL IN THE TAKE-A-PENNY BOWL. THIS COULD BE IT, BOB, I'M NOT SURE THESE SUSPENDER-WEARING BEAN EATING SHEEP SODOMIZERS HAVE EVER SEEN THAT MUCH MONEY IN THEIR LIVES, HE MAY HAVE LOST THEM WITH THAT DISPLAY OF OSTENTATIOUS WEALTH. PUNDIT 2, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

PUNDIT 2: UM, I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW, I'M ACHIEVING CLIMAX -- ONE SECOND -- ONE SECOND --

PUNDIT 3: GET ME HOME! CALL THE DRIVER, GET ME HOME RIGHT NOW! I HAVE TO WRITE A COLUMN!

NEWSCASTER BOB: Um... OK... I'm being told we're going to take a quick break. When we come back: Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama. Why has he never eaten a baby?

[end scene]

Rob

Wow. Just wow.

Hello everyone!



Wow. Just wow.

The sad thing is that he's not joking.

Rob

Election Season

Hello everyone!

Lately, I've been busy sprucing up Rob Dow's World somewhat. If you look to your right, you'll see a whole new set of links, unless you're reading this on myspace or somewhere else, in which case you should click here. Anyway, these links are great links to great sites with great things posted by great people, so click on them often (no, I'm not getting paid for this) and enjoy. Then come back and read the rest of this posting. Go ahead, I'll wait for you!

Now that you're back, let's get on with this post! The 2008 presidential election season sure is heating up! Unfortunately, my favorite candidate, Dennis Kucinich, dropped out, er... was forced out of the race due to a complete absence of corporate media coverage on his campaign and due to him being kept out of the Democratic Party debates, despite the fact that he won the same number of delegates in the Iowa caucuses as Rudy Giuliani (0) and more votes than Fred Thompson in New Hampshire (3914 vs. 2,905), both of whom have been allowed in all the Republican debates. But I guess that's what happens to those who speak the truth.

Now I don't know who I'm going to endorse. I like a lot of what John Edwards is saying. The mainstream media is ignoring him, too, which makes me like him even more. I could probably vote for Barack Obama without feeling like a dirty, dirty whore. But I'm not sure about all this talk about reaching out and working with the Republicans. Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid have been trying that for a year and it's gotten them nowhere. I'm not interested in compromising with people who claim to be moral and then ignore poor people, who trash our environment and economy in the name of private corporate profit, who underfund our infrastructure and educational system while overfunding our military, and who believe the earth was created 5,000-6,000 years ago and that we should teach that in public school science classes.

I wouldn't be caught dead voting for Hillary Clinton or any of the other Republicans. I'd most likely go third party.

Anyway, the candidates are really beginning to pull out all the stops. For instance, take a look at this ad:



If that weren't enough, some of the candidates think they're comedians:



But once the two main candidates are chosen, then we'll have to sit through the conventions:



Just think, only 279 more days to go!

Rob

I Don't Get a Scholarship, but You Get My Bitter Commentary!

Hello everyone!

What a crappy week.

I found out that I didn't get the Ford Scholarship that I interviewed for last week. For those who don't know, the Ford Scholarship has nothing to do with the car, but a local timber baron named Ford who built up this big logging company and then died and left behind a foundation that awards scholarships. But this isn't just any scholarship, this is one that would have paid 90% of my schooling all the way through until I got my Bachelor's. There were over 2800 people who applied, and only 186 interviewed for 100 scholarships. So I thought I had a pretty good chance, and let myself get my hopes up high.

It really sucked when I checked the mail and saw the envelope clearly had one piece of paper inside instead of a big packet of forms and crap that the winners surely got. I've spent the last couple days wondering what I did wrong, and I'm having trouble, to be quite honest. I mean, I didn't leave the interview thinking I said something stupid. I didn't stumble over my responses, nor contradict myself. I felt relaxed, confident, and knowledgeable. The only thing I can think of is they didn't agree with my politics. Since I am a Political Science major, most of the questions had to do with my political views, and while I was honest, I chose my words carefully to say what I really felt. And all the questions they asked were things that I had previously thought about, so I was prepared, and my responses were thought-out instead of regurgitating what pundits say. I guess that's not what they wanted to hear.

So now I'll go to the big University and have to borrow $20,000 or so to get through school. Oh well, I'd rather be in debt and be who I am than try to be someone else for money. I already did that, but hated it and decided to go to school.

Besides, who am I kidding--it really wouldn't make any sense for a timber company to sponsor a tree hugger like me!

So, I went through the rest of my week already moping a little, and then I came across this:

Divided Congress approves Iraq war funds

By Richard Cowan and Steve Holland

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A divided U.S. Congress on Thursday approved $100 billion to keep fighting the war in Iraq, as Democrats pledged to resurrect failed attempts to force President George W. Bush to withdraw troops.

Passage of the legislation capped a four-month struggle between Bush and the new Democratic-led Congress over the increasingly unpopular Iraq war, now in its fifth year.

Underscoring Democratic division, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi of California voted against it and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada voted for it.

Three Democratic senators running for president -- Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York, Barack Obama of Illinois and Christopher Dodd of Connecticut -- opposed providing money with no withdrawal deadlines. Joseph Biden of Delaware, also a presidential hopeful, voted yes.

Great leadership there, Biden. Hey, now we know where you stand.

With this latest installment, the United States will have allocated more than $565 billion for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan since 2001, according to the Congressional Research Service. Most of the money has gone to fight in Iraq.

Gee, and my community college is underfunded by over $8 million this year, so they're going to have to make cuts AGAIN. LCC could use just .00141% of what we've spent on the wars to stay solvent, but it ain't happening. Hell, just .008% of what they just allocated this time would do. It's nice to see where our priorities lie.

Bush pleaded for patience but warned of more tough times ahead. "It could be a bloody -- it could be a very difficult August," he told reporters at the White House.

Scare tactics--that's his M.O.

He also made clear September would be an important period, when the U.S. commander in Iraq, Gen. David Petraeus, will report on the impact of the troop buildup and make a recommendation on how to proceed.

The House voted 280-142 for the emergency funding bill, while the Senate passed it 80-14.

What a bunch of spineless cowards. What part of 72% do you people not understand?

White House spokesman Alex Conant said Congress should be congratulated for providing U.S. troops with the funding and flexibility they need.

"Rather than mandate arbitrary timetables for military operations, the legislation enables our servicemen and women to follow the advice of commanders on the ground," Conant said.

Those commanders are there because the ones who questioned the Bush administration's policies were forced to resign and were replaced by a bunch of "yes-men".

On May 1, Bush vetoed a Democratic bill that would have begun withdrawing U.S. soldiers from Iraq by October 1 and Democrats did not have the votes to reverse him.

Lawmakers approved the revamped bill just before leaving for a long Memorial Day recess as war funds were running out.

The Republican president is expected to promptly sign into law the bill, which for the first time would set a series of "benchmarks" to measure progress in Iraq and ties a small amount of non-military U.S. aid to that progress.

Yeah, but if the benchmarks aren't met, Iraq loses non-military aid--meaning reconstruction and humanitarian aid. So basically, if the puppet Iraq government doesn't get its act together and start being more puppity, the Iraqi people are going to have to pay. How is this supposed to end the fighting, again? Oh yeah, it's not.

"This is a token. This is a small step forward. Instead we should have a giant step forward into a new direction," Pelosi said.

This isn't a 'token', it's a 'joken'. (Did you see what I just did there? It's punny!)

PELOSI PLEDGES NEW DRIVE FOR DEADLINES

U.S. anti-war groups slammed Democrats for allowing the bill to pass.

Rightfully so.

Pelosi said Democrats would quickly resume their drive to impose deadlines for pulling U.S. combat troops out of Iraq.

Can I have a word with you, Nan and the other Democrats? Why stop your drive and then resume it? Why not just grow a set and keep fighting non-stop? It's what the public wants you to do, and it's why you got elected in the first place, morons! Tell all the Democrats that nobody is going to fault them for trying and losing. We're already on your side. What we can't stand is a bunch of quitters. That's what the righties keep calling you. Don't prove them right. They're already saying you want to surrender in Iraq, despite the fact that you've got a huge majority on your side. Now it's going to be about how you guys backed down, and that's just going to add to the Democrat=surrenderer mentality. You've quit trying to quit. That makes you a "double-quitter" in right-wing world.

The Republicans don't have to prove themselves anymore. All they have to do is sit back and let you trip over yourselves, just like you're doing now, and then say, "See, I told you so." I'm sure they're ecstatic about you guys now.

She said she would put on the House agenda a bill to repeal Congress' 2002 authorization of the Iraq war and said Democrats would use next year's military spending bills to try to end the war that has killed at least 3,420 U.S. soldiers and wounded more than 34,000. Iraqis have suffered far worse casualties.

Yeah, so many casualties they can't count them all.

According to a CBS News/New York Times poll, 76 percent of Americans believe the war is going somewhat or very badly for the United States and only 20 percent said Bush's recent troop increase is making a positive difference.

So it's up to 76% now. Still, those 24% knuckle-dragging, window-licking, droolers never quit, do they?

Congressional Republicans are beginning to talk about the possible need for a change in direction within a few months.

Wow, they're "beginning to talk" about something obvious to everyone else. They must be getting ready for the 2008 elections. I can see it now: "Vote Republican and get us out of Iraq!"

Incidentally, I spent 15 minutes trying to come up with with some sort of "elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about"/Republican "elephant" pun here, but I couldn't. Hey, I'm not getting paid for this.

One influential Republican senator, John Warner of Virginia, said a new U.S. strategy might be needed by July if problems in Iraq did not improve.

Let me get this straight: if things don't get better, we may have to try something else. He just now figured that out! What is he, in third grade?

Incidentally, I have no problem with third graders. I just think they need a bit more education before becoming Senators. Seventh grade, at least.

House Republican leader John Boehner of Ohio, his voice cracking with emotion, denounced the insurgents in Iraq and said the United States must prevail.

Heh-heh. I got a "Boehner".

Besides buying more ammunition, armored vehicles and aircraft for the wars, the spending bill provides more aid for countries ranging from Lebanon to Liberia and gives $185.5 million to help refugees and others displaced in Iraq, Afghanistan and African countries.

Aw, we're helping the refugees. That's nice of us. What are they fleeing? A brutal, genocidal regime in Africa and... oh, us.

But wait, there's more news:

Report Says Iraq Problems Were Expected

By KATHERINE SHRADER

WASHINGTON (AP) - Intelligence analysts predicted, in secret papers circulated within the government before the Iraq invasion, that al-Qaida would see U.S. military action as an opportunity to increase its operations and that Iran would try to shape a post-Saddam Iraq.

The top analysts in government also said that establishing a stable democracy in Iraq would be a "long, difficult and probably turbulent process."

Well, duh. It's not that much of a surprise anymore. The surprising part is that no matter how "official" reports get released, even ones from Bush's own military advisers, that say that they knew it was going to be bad, they went ahead with it anyway. This means that either things are working out exactly the way the Bush administration planned, and they really want us to be there permanently, or they're just a bunch of bumbling idiots who are incapable of doing anything right. I'll let you decide.

Meanwhile, how are the Republicans (and many Democrats) that just voted for more of the same-old going to spin this? Good question:

Some Republicans rejected the committee's work as flawed. The panel's top Republican, Sen. Kit Bond of Missouri, said the report's conclusions selectively highlight the intelligence agencies' findings that seem to be important now, distorting the picture of what was presented to policy-makers.

There you go. When Bush cites bogus info in his State of the Union speech as justification to invade a country that a group made up of many people in his administration have wanted to invade years before he became president and years before anyone had heard of said bogus info, it's OK. But when anyone points out the truth about the war, no matter how obvious it is, they're "distorting the picture". Right.

I wish my logic was that selective. Maybe when I take my next Spanish test, I'll tell the instructor (en español, claro) to only count the answers I get right. Then when he points out the ones I get wrong, I can say he's "distorting the picture"!

Then I'll tell the FAFSA people that they're "selectively highlighting" my student debt, and that if they just focused on how much money I've already spent, they'd actually owe me money!

Rob