Monday, February 02, 2009

RIP: Music, c. Stone Age-2009

Hello everyone!

Well, it was a good run, but all things must eventually die. Thanks to the evil, greedy, capitalist bastards at Microsoft, music is now officially the latest victim of the Grim Reaper:

That's it. It's over. Microsoft's SongSmith is the final, fatal blow. Sure, it's not the only culprit. When Guitar Hero and Rock Band came out, the writing was on the wall. Actually, with hindsight we should've noticed the writing at least since Meat Loaf's first platinum album.

But now there's no point in trying to keep music alive. Because if it's not dead already, it's certainly in a persistent vegetative state, and we might as well just pull the plug and get it over. Really. Why even bother to learn to play an instrument? Why even bother writing new songs? Now all you have to do is just "sing" into a computer, and the computer will create the song for you. You don't even have to be able to carry a tune because I'm sure Microsoft has some download that will make even your godawful screeching sound like Christina Aguilera, Scott Stapp, Whitney Houston, Justin Timberlake, or whatever manufactured pop star you want to sound like. But even if that's too difficult for you, don't worry. I'm sure there's some program that will come out in the next year or so that will turn your bowel movement into a concept album. Move over, Dark Side of the Moon!

It's insanity like this that makes me think that people like Derrick Jensen have it truly figured out. It's time to head for the hills and live in a commune.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seriously. This is not a joke. It's the only way to save your soul

9:52 PM, February 03, 2009  
Blogger Rob said...

Hello Anon!

I'm going for the "righteous indignation dollar" and the "anger dollar." I've got the righteous indignation and the anger down--now all I need are some dollars.


7:58 AM, February 04, 2009  

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