Thursday, January 15, 2009

DW&F: Water Landings and Hearings for What?

Hello everyone!

You know, I've learned something. Posting something new every day is tough! Even using the rerun technicality still requires that I post something.

But just because it's tough and just because I've occasionally posted reruns does not mean that I don't enjoy doing this. Um, that last sentence included a lot of negatives, and I'm not sure if I got it right, but what I'm trying to say is that I enjoy doing this, and so I'll keep at it until I no longer do.

And if you were hoping that I'd stop sometime soon so that you can find a much better blog to follow, you're out of luck.

Daily Win and FAIL!

Win: Amazing landings

Well, this one was pretty much a no-brainer. In case you've been living under a rock, some airline pilot (who will most likely be on the Today Show and Letterman in the next couple of days) managed to land a passenger jet on the Hudson River today--and nobody died!

I heard this story, and all I could think about was a bit by the late, great George Carlin about the safety speech the flight attendants give before your flight takes off:
The safety lecture continues. "In the unlikely event of a water landing . . ." Well, what exactly is a water landing? Am I mistaken, or does this sound somewhat similar to CRASHING INTO THE OCEAN!? ". . . your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device." Well, imagine that, my seat cushion... Just what I need -- to float around the North Atlantic for several days -- clinging to a pillow full of beer farts...
A plane that crashed and nobody died? A news story that reminded me of a Carlin bit? Win!

On a wing and a prayer?

On second thought, that was the lamest thing I've ever written on this blog or anywhere else. Let's move on before I have to FAIL myself.

FAIL: Congressional hearings over football?

This is unreal:
The incoming chairman of the Committee on Oversight and Government Reform said Wednesday that he will hold hearings and possibly subpoena NCAA officials, college presidents, players, coaches and athletics directors in effort to force a playoff in the Football Bowl Subdivision.
Look, I know that lots of people love football. I know that it's an American tradition. I also know that there is often controversy at the end of the NCAA season over who is the number one college team (what football has to do with higher education I'll never understand, but whatever). So I am approaching this with the mindset that since I'm not much of a football (or sports in general) fan, maybe I just don't understand. Maybe I simply don't realize how crucial and important deciding the number one college football team is.

But I can't help but wonder if holding hearings over this is really the best way Congress should be spending its time. In fact, here are just a few things that to me seem a bit more important:
  • The economy
  • Two wars
  • Torture
  • Global warming
  • Unemployment
  • Corporate political influence
  • Poverty
  • Universal health care
  • Renewable energy
  • Marriage equality
  • The manipulation/fabrication of "evidence" to start an illegal war
  • Environmental degradation
  • Education
  • Nuclear proliferation
  • Frankenfoods
  • Israeli aggression
  • The erosion of Civil Liberties
  • Globalization
  • Child/domestic abuse
  • Exploitation of sweatshop labor
  • Decriminalization of marijuana
  • Taser deaths
  • Reproductive rights
  • Puppies and kittens that need loving families
These are ones that I (with a little help from Cathy) thought of off the top of my our heads, without doing any research. To us, they seem relatively important, even more so than the football playoffs. To Congress, it's, "Nah, let's talk about football playoffs instead."

I'm trying to come up with some sort of response to this, and I'm actually speechless (writeless?). There's only one thing that comes to mind: FAIL!!!

These football players never have to worry about falling victim to the stereotype of the "dumb jock" so long as Congress is around for comparison's sake.


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