Friday, January 16, 2009

DW&F: New 'do and Bad Poetry

Hello everyone!

Well, it's the start of a 3-Day Weekend (At Rancho Bebop), and I'm really thankful for everything Martin Luther King Jr. did because it means that he not only helped make life much less shitty for black people, but he also gave us a good reason to take an extra day off in the middle of January. We sure could use it.

Actually, I already have Mondays off, but that's because I'm a loser with a part-time job. But this time Cathy has Monday off as well, which means that we could go do something fun together. Or not.

Daily Win and FAIL!

Win: Cathy's new 'do

It's always scary when someone gets a haircut, particularly when it's a somewhat drastic haircut like Cathy got. I mean, it's not like she got a buzz-cut or anything, but it is significantly shorter. But I like it. I think it looks great, and I think she looks great. I think she likes it as well, which makes it an all-around Win!

FAIL: Bad poetry

Here's a photo of some prose written on the wall of a bathroom stall at Lane Community College:

For the benefit of those who can't read it, here's a transcription provided by Yours Truly, free of charge:
I learn all day in the Halls
and drink so much coffee I
bounce of the walls
Then I come to these
Hallowed stalls
To sit and shit
and scratch my balls
I don't exactly fancy myself a poetry critic, but there a few things about this poem that warrants a FAIL! First off, I don't think much learning occurs in the halls of LCC because 1) there aren't very many halls on campus, and 2) because the learning tends to take place in the classrooms, in the tutor center, and on the bus, but rarely ever in the halls, and certainly not all day long. Secondly, there was a golden opportunity in this poem to connect drinking a lot of coffee to later spending a lot of time in the stall, but this opportunity was completely wasted. Also, if someone is going go through the trouble of rhyming four words, at least he (I suppose it could be "she," but this was in the men's room) could arrange the stanzas accordingly. Finally, black ink pen is a waste of time because it will be gone in a couple days or so (well, more like a month with the short-staffed LCC facilities crew--not that it's their fault). If you're going to "post" poetry in the bathroom, use a pen knife or box cutter so future generations can enjoy your work. On second thought, non-permanent is probably the way to go with this poem. FAIL!

fail owned pwned pictures
Look, I realize that it's only a community college and I shouldn't hold the students up to university standards. So let's bring in an expert critic, shall we? What does Cleocatra have to say?

This poetry lacks the sophistication of other bathroom works, such as "Here I sit broken hearted." I'd give it a thumbs down if I had thumbs. Now either feed or pet me, you lazy jerk!

Well, I'd better get going. See you next time!


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Blogger Jessica said...

I desperately want to make this a limerick!

Attempt #1:

there was a young student who wandered the halls

he drank lots of coffee and went into a bathroom stall

then went down for a shit
and wrote some bad lit

all about scratching his balls.

2:14 PM, January 19, 2009  
Blogger Rob said...

Hello Jessica!

Well done! Here's my attempt:

There once was a man in the loo
Who wrote poetry inky blue
He had quite a knack
For scratching his sack
The judges gave him a 9.2

Meh. I'll leave it to the pros.


8:28 PM, January 19, 2009  

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