I'm Rich! I'm Rich! Yay! (Part 5)

Hello everyone!

It's been a while since my last post, I know. School has been a bit of a bitch these past couple weeks. Also, I've found myself in the middle of a potentially big political brawl at school. I'm not in trouble and I didn't do anything wrong, but let's just say things might be very interesting for me for the next few months. Once I know all the details, I'll update all both my readers here on the blog. Ooh, the plot thickens!

Anyway, I got another email. Tenacious, isn't he? In case you have no idea what I'm talking about, here's Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4. Well, let's get right to the email, posthaste:

Dear Friend,

I'm happy to inform you about my success in getting those funds transferred under the cooperation of a new partner from paraguay. Presently i'm in Paraguay for investment projects with my own share of the total sum. meanwhile,i didn't forget your past efforts and attempts to assist me in transferring those funds despite that it failed us some how.

Now contact my secretary, her name is Dr Mary Okonma, contact her on her email address {dr.mrs_maryokonma@yahoo.com} ask her to send to you the total sum of $3,000,000 which i kept for your compensation for all the past efforts and attempts to assist me in this matter. I appreciated your efforts at that time very much. so feel free and get in touched with my secretary and instruct her where to send the amount to you.

Please do let me know immediately you receive it so that we can share the joy after all the sufferness at that time. in the moment, i am very busy here because of the investment projects which me and the new partner are having at hand, finally, remember that I had forwarded instruction to my secretary on your behalf to receive that money, so feel free to get in touch with Dr Mary Okonma, she will send the amount to you without any delay.

With Best Regards,
Barr. Thomas Cole.

Wait a minute, when did 50% of $28.5 million become $3 million? I mean, I've only taken Math 111, so I'm not exactly a mathematician, but it seems like my share should be higher. I guess I'll have to contact "Dr (Mrs) Mary Okonma" and straighten this out.

And I have no idea what "we can share the joy after all the sufferness at that time" is supposed to mean.

So of course I had to respond:

Dear Mr. Cole and/or Dr. Okanma,

Please send me my money. Send it here:

R. Dow
c/o ASLCC
Lane Community College
4000 E. 30th Ave.
Eugene, OR, USA 97405

Cash (U.S. dollars) is preferable, but American Express travelers checks will do, too. Hurry up, because I've spent most of it already, and I'm running out of fingers for the mob bosses to cut off.

Best regards,
R. Dow

So there you have it. Either I'm rich or I'm not.

Rob