Wednesday, March 21, 2007

A Laugh Riot Tupperware Party

Hello everyone!

Fun fact: "Jamba" means "fart" in Swahili. Think about that the next time you order a Jamba Juice.

The "Foe Toe Contest" went fairly well. Since I posted it both on my real blog and on my MySpace blog, there were submissions on both. That means if you've only been to one of the sites, you should see the other, or you might miss out on some fantastically brilliant photo caption submissions. There haven't been any new submissions on either site in a while, so I guess I better pick some "winners".

On my real blog, there was this one:
"Hello. I'm going door to door spreading the word of me."
Of course, whoever posted this one didn't leave his/her name, so I'll have to keep the prize to myself.

On the MySpace blog, I liked:
"Sorry France...I know you don't like the war on terror...but I have been waiting over 2,000 years for armageddon. I'm afraid you'll have to stop complaining."
And points for creatively acknowledging the point of view of the people inside the building goes to:
"I sure hope that isn't a Jehovah Witness at the door"
Congratulations to Jeremy and Laurie, respectively, for those two. You two each win an all expenses paid trip to Fallujah.

Actually, all the submissions were really, really good. I'm glad I know so many creative people. It makes my job that much easier, although picking the "winners" was tough. Basically, it just came down to this: "Which comment made the most beer come out of my nose from laughing?" Yes, the scientific approach.

Don't forget, there's one more contest still going.

My finals are finally done. Yay, Spring Break is here! This term was the toughest I've had in the three-plus years I've been in college, and I'm still at a community college (I'm a scenic route kind of guy). It's only going to get worse this fall when I finally go to the university. I'm not talking about the workload--I'm talking about all the annoying dorm-living, frat-pledging, trust-fund-spending, binge-drinking, spoiled, clueless, Young-Republican-wannabe, 18-22 year-olds I'm going to have to deal with for the next two years. Sure, LCC has a few of those too, but they're the ones who flunked out of the U of O!

Oh, I'm just kidding--it won't be that bad. Besides, I probably won't be involved in a million projects, issues, councils, or jobs there like I am at Lane. Speaking of issues, I offhandedly referred to one in another posting. Here's the scoop in the form of an open letter that we, Your ASLCC Student Government, put together:

An open letter to the LCC Board of Education, President Mary Spilde, and LCC students:

Lane Community College has contracted with Iowa-based MetaBank to issue debit cards to students beginning this summer instead of financial aid checks or offering a direct deposit option.

MetaBank is not charging the college anything for this service. This is because LCC students will have to foot the bill through outrageous fees, including $1 per ATM withdrawal (plus the ATM fee) with a $200 daily limit, $3 per monthly paper statement, and $3 per call to talk to a customer service rep, and a $5 monthly fee after 6 months of inactivity.

Also, it will cost $5 for a duplicate card, $15 for a replacement card, and $25 per overdraft.

In the event of a disputed charge, there is a $25 processing fee for each dispute, and students can only dispute credit charges, not debit ones.

LCC is calling this a voluntary system, but the method for opting out is unclear at best.

Due to the budget crisis, LCC students are facing a $3.50 per credit tuition hike for next year, textbook prices have been skyrocketing, student services have been slashed, and there is talk about eliminating entire departments. Now this bank wants a share of money that students likely had to borrow in the first place. Haven’t we paid enough for our education?

Contact LCC at (541) 463-3100,, or and tell them to abandon this foolhardy plan and institute direct deposit.

ASLCC Student Government
Isn't that great? It's not enough that most students end up going tens of thousands of dollars in debt just to get a degree, but now this bank wants to get a piece of the action, too. This is the same reason you only see title loan and check cashing places in poor neighborhoods--because the poorest and most vulnerable people are always the ones who get targeted the hardest. If it's not students, then it's the elderly, the working-class, or simply the desperate.

Worse yet, LCC instigated this, and most of the students don't know much about it. The college is going through a big budget crisis, so they're doing this to save a few bucks on printing and mailing checks. Great, the college is saving money, but what about students?

"What about 'em?"

So the next ten weeks or so should be pretty interesting. We're going to be fighting for them to get rid of this and institute direct deposit. We've already had a few meetings with college V.P.s and some of us spoke to the Board of Education. The next step is to inform the students and encourage them to get involved, write letters, talk to college officials, organize demonstrations, sit-ins, riots, violence, getting arrested, etc.

Note: The preceding sentence was the author's pitiful attempt at humor. He would like to make it perfectly clear that he is not encouraging, nor condoning, nor wishing to be involved whatsoever in any sort of rioting or violence, nor encouraging breaking or even thinking about breaking any federal, state, or local ordinances. He was simply reacting to the tone of the first meeting with the LCC administration in which there were copious amounts of yelling, as well as snide, sarcastic, juvenile comments being thrown around, especially on the part of one particular LCC administrator. So to sum up, yelling=good, rioting=bad. Make love not war. Hugs not drugs.

I hate being interrupted. Anyway, Cathy and I are taking a week or so and heading to Tahoe and Yosemite. After that it's back to dealing with this crap. Such is life. I could just say "screw it, I won't be there by the time it goes into effect," but that's just not my style.

I'll probably post some photos from the trip when we get back. And take note tweekers: we have a bad-ass house-sitter lined up, and she'll kick your ass faster than you can say "crank craters" if you try breaking in and stealing our scrap metal. You've been warned.

Well, it looks like it's time for me to step off my soapbox again. Thanks for listening.



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