DW&F: Jerry Brown and Brown Clouds

Hello everyone!

It's 11:30 pm, and I'm way beyond tired. It's been a long day of battling traffic and long lines throughout town, including what seemed like six hours at the post office. Yes, we spent today doing our obligatory late December ritual of buying lots of stuff to give to people we love in order to remind them that we love them. 'Tis the season! Fa-la-la-la-la!

What I'm trying to say is that I might half-ass it tonight. But remember, I'm not getting paid for this!

Sorry, but I couldn't resist.

Daily Win and FAIL!

Win: Jerry "Freakin'" Brown

Just read this article.

I also like the way the picture makes it look like he's about to flick a booger at someone. Prop 8 supporters, maybe? Win!

FAIL: People who fart at the post office

I'm talking about people who fart near a crowd of people who, for whatever reason, can't get away and have to stand there and breathe in the ghastly stench while simultaneously feeling obligated to not deviate from societal norms such as covering one's nose, waving away the smell, or going on a witch hunt to identify and ridicule the offender, thereby dissuading others from committing the same faux-pas. What I'm trying to say is whoever smelt it, probably didn't dealt it, and yet was stuck dealing with it!

Today while standing in line at the post office, someone dropped a stinkbomb that was so foul that I think I threw up in my mouth a little. Seriously. It had to have been in my top ten (or bottom ten depending on one's perspective) farts that I've ever had the displeasure of smelling. Sadly, none of my own farts make the top ten list, but then I'm probably biased.

Anyway, we'd been waiting at least 45 minutes and were near the front of the line when the bomb was dropped, so we had to just stand there and inhale the gas that came out of someone else's anus, otherwise we'd lose out place and have to go to the back of the line. Talk about choosing the lesser of two evils! And did I mention that there was no air circulation, either? It just sat there and lingered in an invisible toxic cloud of nastiness that would not disperse! At least I now know what hell smells like!

The interesting thing was that there were also several other people waiting in line, including the perpetrator, yet no one else moved, either. We all just stood there breathing this disgustingly foul stench and nobody even said anything, presumably because that would make whoever dealt it feel uncomfortable. Of course, if someone decided to light a cigarette in that line, my guess is that most of the other people would have a conniption fit with no concern for the feelings of the smoker. It's an interesting world in which we live.

And yes, I realize cigarette smoke is deadly. But had you been there with me today, you'd realize it's not the only deadly gas a person can emit. FAIL!


Bonus win: The above photo was taken by me! I'll admit, it's not a great FAIL, per se, but I'm happy with it! For those of you who can't see it very well, it's a label from the Office Max at the 29th and Willamette shopping center that says, "Motion Picture Horse Ruler," in front of rulers with pictures of lion (not horse) cubs. Basically, these are sort of holographic pictures that, if you rotate the ruler, makes it looks like the lions are walking. But they don't make the lions look anything like horses, other than the fact that they're both four-legged mammals. Hence, the FAIL! Granted, this FAIL is no FAILboat, but I think it's pretty good for my first FAIL. So, "Win"!

Well, look at that. It's well past midnight, and just a few days into my pledge to blog every day, I've already skipped a day. ROBFAIL!



Rob

DW&F: Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cookies and Rick Warren

Hello everyone!

You should know the routine by now. If not, go here first.

Daily Win and FAIL!

Win: Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cookies!



Cathy made cookies yesterday! This recipe wasn't one of those dry, cardboard-tasting, crappy peanut butter cookie recipes with chocolate chips added. No, this one is more like Toll House chocolate chip cookies with peanut butter added. And since it's that time of year, here's my Saturnalia present to you, the viewer:

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies
Ingredients:
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, softened
• 1/2 cup chunky or smooth peanut butter
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
• 1 egg
• 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
Preparation:
Preheat oven to 375°.
Cream the butter, peanut butter and sugars until light. Add the egg and mix until fluffy.
Blend the flour, baking powder, soda and salt together well. Add these dry ingredients to the butter mixture. Add the chocolate chips.
Drop cookie dough by teaspoonfuls onto lightly greased baking sheets. Bake for 10-12 minutes at 375°.

These are fantastic! And they're even better when you have a kick-ass wife who's willing to make them for you! If you're reading this, Cathy, I love you sweetheart! Oh, what the heck, I love you even if you don't read this. Win!

FAIL: Rick Warren

True story: I used to have a boss named Rick Warren. But that's not who I'm talking about. I'm referring to this butt-munch:



At least with the nutjobs like James Dobson and Fred Phelps, they're open with their ridiculousness and outright hate, respectively. But Warren masks his bigotry behind a friendly, marketable façade. However, it comes out here in this interview.

To him being gay is the same as being angry or shy, which of course means it's simply some emotional problem that can be corrected. Then he claims that he has had "many gay friends" that want to have "multiple sexual partners," which is absolutely utter bullshit for two reasons. One, why would anyone want to be "friends" with someone who thinks he or she is a sinner and is going to hell? Two, if there were people willing to do this, why would they then want to have detailed conversations about their sex lives with that person? I don't go around discussing my sex life with my friends, who certainly wouldn't be judgmental about it if I did, yet we're supposed to believe that a guy who compares gay marriage to sibling marriage, pedophilia, and polygamy has a whole string of gay friends just lining up to ask him for advice on sex?

Then he gets really creepy and says he's "naturally inclined to have sex with every beautiful woman" he sees (the interviewer's reaction was priceless), but that it's not the right thing to do, of course without explaining why it's not the right thing to do. I have no problem with promiscuity provided precautions are used and the involved parties are honest and open about it with each other. But this is just pushing the same old stereotype that only gay people are promiscuous. I know lots of gay people, and none of them are any more promiscuous than any of the hetero people I know.

He says he "reigns in" his "natural impulses." That's fine, but it begs the question: why am I allowed to explore my "natural impulses" with my wife but gay people aren't (with each other, not with my wife)? What's the difference? I've never heard this question answered without referring to an obscure bible passage in Leviticus while simultaneously ignoring the other passages in Leviticus that promoted slavery and condemned people who eat shellfish or cut their sideburns to death by stoning.

Then the icing on the cake is when he claims that gay people repressing themselves is "part of maturity" and "character." This is when his bigotry really shines through, but instead of just ranting and raving about how he thinks gay people are sinners, he just essentially says they're immature and have a bad character, which of course is much more palatable but still marginalizes a whole group of people.

There's also the same old, tired argument about redefining marriage, and he even has the audacity to claim that marriage has always been between a man and a woman, of course completely ignoring thousands of years of concubines and polygamy, as well as the fact that marriage has routinely been "redefined" throughout history. Case in point: our current President-elect would've been a bastard child if his parents were from one of about 20 states because of the anti-miscegenation laws on the books. Fortunately, people decided to "redefine marriage" in order to not legally enforce bigotry, something just over 50% of the voters in California haven't yet learned.

But here's the real kicker: that same President-elect whose parents benefited from the redefinition of marriage invited to his inauguration a guy who's against giving rights to an oppressed minority, one Rick Warren. Obama is not off to a good start, and he hasn't even officially started yet. In fact, he's looking more and more like Bill Clinton by the day, possible even more so than Hillary would've been. FAIL!




I guess I'll just have to spend the next four (possibly eight) years reminding myself that at least Bush isn't the president.

Rob

Bigots!

Hello everyone!

I realize I haven't posted in a while, but I'm up to my neck in homework this term. I have 50+pages to write in the next 18 days, plus a bunch of reading, so I doubt I'll post any blogs during for a while unless it's one about how miserable I am. Then I'll have my one last final exam on December 8, and then I'll be finished with being an undergraduate college student--unless I fail, but that goes without saying. After that, I'll have to go shopping for a frame to put my fancy diploma in. Hopefully I'll find a job, otherwise I'll be one of those people at the freeway off-ramp holding a sign that says, "Will blog for a student loan payment!"

So what has happened since my last post? Oh yeah, there was an election two weeks ago. Here's the crazy thing: every person and measure I voted for ended up winning! Of course, that automatically made me reconsider everything I voted for. My votes never win! Was I somehow hoodwinked this time? Were things so bad that mediocrity looked appealing this time around? Time will tell.

Nevertheless, I'm cautiously optimistic. Of course, with Joe Lieberman keeping his post as Senate Homeland Security Committee chair, despite not investigating any of the numerous threats to homeland security during the past two years, such as illegal wiretapping, torture, firing judges for political reasons, etc., etc., etc., and with Hillary Clinton being named as a possible Secretary of State, well...let's just say that this isn't the change I hoped for.

Although, I do have to admit that on election night Cathy and I went to the Lane County Fairgrounds to watch the results come in, and the last time I saw so many watery eyes was at a funeral. During Obama's speech--which was broadcast on a large-screen projection TV--I stood next to a seventy-something-year-old man who was bawling his eyes out like nothing I've ever seen before. That's when I realized the historical significance of what was happening both on the screen and around me. It's one moment I'll never forget. So there!

Of course, not all went well. The bigots won in California. They also won in Florida and Arizona (even though they lost in Arizona in 2006).

But the worst was what happened in Arkansas. The bigots not only won't let same-sex couples marry, but they won't let same-sex couples adopt or take care of foster children. Not only that, opposite-sex couples who are not married can't adopt, and those non-married couples--gay or otherwise--who have adopted or are taking care of foster kids might lose their kids. So these bigots who voted for this pile of crap measure better get themselves down to the local adoption board and adopt some kids pronto, otherwise they'll prove themselves to be a bunch of hypocritical bigots.

And for those of you who think the word "bigot" is too harsh, if you can think of a better word, please let me know. I'm sorry, but I just can't think of any reason to deny gays rights other than bigotry. If you can think of one, please let me know in the comments. I'm not holding my breath.

Well, anyway, I've wasted valuable time blathering on about stuff my readers know fully well about at this point. But don't worry--I'll be back once finals are done, and with more fart jokes than you can shake a can of baked beans at! That's the kind of change you can believe in!

Rob