Facebook Friends and Enemies of Enemies

Hello everyone.

I'm kinda glad the month of August is almost over. It's been in the 80s-90s every day this month, and while that might not seem too bad compared to what people in, say, Texas have been dealing with, we've had only one incredibly brief moment of rain in the past six weeks or so, when it sprinkled for all of three minutes. The rest has been nothing but sunshine. I love sunshine as much as the next person, probably even more so, but the problem is our well is beginning to dry up, and we've lost some of our garden crops as a result. It doesn't help that our neighbor waters his lawn pretty much every single day, and I'm sure he's pulling from the same aquifer we are. Thanks a lot, jackass.

I just want us to have a nice, big rainstorm for a day or two to recharge our water supply and give the plants a good drink, and then we can go back to the sunny weather. I guess I should get used to this as we continue to pump carbon into the atmosphere and the climate continues to change.

It's funny how whenever we get a big winter storm or cold-spell, you often hear inane phrases such as, "So much for global warming," but when Texas has summertime highs in the 100s for two months straight, you don't hear a peep about climate change. People can be really ignorant sometimes.

Rob Happenings

I've been on Facebook for the past five years or so, and I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with it. On one hand, it's quite a time-waster, and it was a big part of the reason I took a hiatus from this blog. I felt Facebook gave me my Internet communication/interaction fix, even though I had to sift through a bunch of crap, such as people inviting me to join them in a game I had no intention of ever playing, or people talking about things I had absolutely no interest in, such as who got voted off American Idol, or what grades their kid got in school. On the other hand, Facebook has put me in touch with old friends, some that I haven't seen since elementary school, as well as putting me in touch with new friends I've never met in person, and overall I think that's pretty cool.

One thing Facebook does is offer "friend suggestions," which, for those of you not in the know, is a list of people Facebook suggests to "friend," meaning you can follow them and they you. Most of the friend suggestions are people who share mutual friends with you. Today, I looked at my friend suggestions and was amazed at the number of people on the list who I was once friends with, which meant that they "unfriended" me at some point.

These are almost all people from high school or before, which means they're people I haven't seen in at least 20 years or so, and my only contact with them has been on Facebook, never in person. So you'd think it wouldn't bother me that these people "unfriended" me, particularly since I generally don't care what people think about me in real life.  But I can't help it--it does bother me. I don't know if it's the nature of Facebook itself in that "friendships" or lack thereof are official and available for others to see, so if someone "unfriends" you, it means they made a conscious decision to do so, and it's hard to not take something like that personally.  Or maybe it's just that it tends to be people I knew from high school, and so whenever I'm confronted with evidence of being "unfriended," I find myself reverting back to my high school mentality, when the most important thing in the world was to be liked and accepted, even by people I might not necessarily like.

I really don't want to care, but I can't help it. It's all very strange to me.

And those who "unfriended me" pretty much across the board held political and/or religious views that were in opposition to my leftist, anti-authoritarian, atheist views, and some even debated me about articles or comments I'd posted. On Facebook I'm pretty open about and willing to express how I see things, so I can only assume my viewpoints and my willingness to share them was ultimately their reason for "unfriending" me. I don't understand this. How weak must a person's views be in the first place if he or she can't handle being exposed to differing ones?

Of course, some people think that discussing politics or religion in a public setting is considered rude and shouldn't be done, but I think that's a bunch of crap. These are issues that affect our lives, so of course we should talk about it.

What a great segue to the next section:

Politics

According to a leaked cable, Senator John McCain promised to help Muammar Gaddafi acquire US weapons when the two met a year ago at a meeting that also included Senators Joe Lieberman, Lindsey Graham, and Susan Collins.  A quote from the cable really stood out to me: "Lieberman called Libya an important ally in the war on terrorism, noting that common enemies sometimes make better friends."

Ugh. When are "our leaders" going to learn? Here's a (somewhat) brief history lesson of failed alliances based on common enemies:

During the 1950s, the people of Iran elected a guy named Mohammad Mosaddegh to be its first Prime Minister, and his government took over production of the country's oil. Up until that time the British essentially thought they had a right to pump the oil out of the ground and keep for themselves. In response to this the CIA staged a coup to overthrow the democratically-elected government and installed the Shah, a brutal dictator who imprisoned and tortured thousands of his political opponents during his almost 30 year reign. The Iranian people finally determined they'd had enough and ousted the Shah in 1979, kidnapping 52 Americans in the process.

The Reagan administration then sold weapons to the Iranians in exchange for a release of the hostages, and they then used the profits to fund the Contras in Nicaragua, who fought against the socialist Sandinistas by using tactics such as murder, rape, torture, and kidnapping.  Somehow I think there are better ways to win over the "hearts and minds" of the people you're supposedly trying to liberate.

Meanwhile, despite illegally selling them weapons, the Reagan administration didn't want the Iranians to get too powerful, so they armed their neighbor to keep them in check.  This neighbor?  Iraq, led by a guy you may have heard of named Saddam Hussein.  The two countries ended up fighting an eight-year-long war that left over a million dead.  Later the US ended up fighting Iraq in two separate wars that caused another million deaths.  

While all this was going on, we were nearing the end of the Cold War, thanks in part to the Soviets being stuck in a quagmire in Afghanistan. The Soviets might have had an easier time if they hadn't been fighting the CIA-trained Mujahideen, which included a guy by the name of Osama bin Laden. I wonder what happened to that guy?

Also worth mentioning: Manuel Noriega worked for the CIA until he fell out of favor with the powers that be, and they determined our military needed to invade Panama and capture him in 1989.

And of course, there's Muammar Gaddafi, who was "an important ally in the war on terrorism" until last year, and is now being ousted by rebels supported by our military, and may even be dead by the time you read this.  Someone else will take his place in Libya, and if history is any indication, we'll probably end up going to war with them in a decade or two.

To the best of my knowledge, every war (or military skirmish not officially called a war) we've fought during my lifetime--and there have been plenty--has been against countries or groups we'd previously armed and/or supported, or else were directly caused by us arming and/or supporting someone.  It's all because we've had politicians who believed the mantra, "The enemy of my enemy is my friend."  Perhaps, a more appropriate mantra should be, "The enemy of my enemy will soon be my enemy, too."

Of course, a cynical conspiracy theorist would probably say all of this is no accident, that our government is arming our potential military rivals on purpose so we'll have to fight them later, and this is all a way to justify invading resource-rich countries and spending hundreds of billions of dollars a year on our military.  I'm not ready to believe that yet, but then again, if some people are willing to kill a stranger for the $20 in their wallet, is it really a stretch to think someone might be willing to let strangers kill each other on the other side of the world to secure a billion dollar military contract?

In Closing 

Let's end on a positive note.  Here it is, your moment of Tucker:

Rob

DW&F: Facebook Fun and Foul Language

Hello everyone!

Night #2 of sleeping on the new bed went just as well, if not better, than the first night. But I once again had a tough time getting out of bed in the morning. Like the night before, it wasn't that I was still tired, but that the bed was so wonderfully comfortable that I didn't want to leave. I hope I don't end up with a job that starts extremely early in the morning because it will be hell getting out of bed. I realize that companies sometimes scour the Internets to screen their applicants, so if you're reading this because you're thinking about hiring me, I assure you that if hired I'll regularly show up on time! I just might not like it too much. But that's why I have this blog--so I can complain about it here and get it out of my system before coming to work. That way you won't have to hear my complaints! I can't think of a better reason to hire me!

Speaking of which, I'm back in a bit of a routine, except instead of school work, I'm job searching and filling out applications. It's a bit exhausting and draining, not only because of the application process (I abhor bragging about myself, and I feel that's what resumes, cover letters, and applications are all about) but also because there is hardly anything available right now in terms of work. Fortunately, I still have my tutoring gig, which I really enjoy, and Cathy has a great job with excellent benefits for both of us (no bennies for tutors), so we're not in trouble at this point. This means that I can still be somewhat choosy about the jobs I apply for, and as a result, all the jobs that I've applied for thus far (or plan on applying for) are ones that I could actually see myself enjoying. It's a really nice feeling.

But the main reason I'm looking for something other than tutoring is that we'd like to buy a house someday, and my measly tutor salary isn't enough to save for a down payment. So I fill out application after application and mail and/or electronically submit resume after resume, all the while hoping someone will call me for an interview. It's not much different than turning in paper after paper and waiting impatiently for the grade, just like I did in school. Good times!

Daily Win and FAIL!

Win: Facebook fun

I went through a MySpace phase not too long ago. It was great fun for a bit because I was able to connect with people I hadn't seen in a while, including some I hadn't seen or heard from since my high school days. But eventually I got frustrated by its annoying graphics and ads, as well as having to enter a CAPTCHA for damn near everything, and so I started messing around with Facebook. And I was able to get back in touch a whole bunch more long-lost friends, as well as staying in touch with local friends who, for whatever reason, I rarely get to see anymore.

Most of my "Facebook friends" who I haven't seen in a really long time are people I went to high school with in Michigan. I've communicated with some of them, and it's been fun if not awkward. I also have other "Facebook friends" I knew in Michigan--some fairly well--who I've only extended an invitation to be friends with (or they with me), but we've never really communicated otherwise. I've really wanted to send each of them a message or just say, "Hi," but that just seems too awkward and uncomfortable. So I've done squat.

It's really strange because in all this I often find myself experiencing the same insecurities I had when I was back there back then, as well as emotions I haven't felt since then. I also catch myself sometimes slipping into the same behavioral patterns I had back then during my recent interactions with the "Facebook friends." It's pretty disconcerting. In a way, I feel like some part of my past that I was fortunate enough to get away from once I left and headed west is now coming back to haunt me in a way. I am very much aware that I didn't like that time very much for a variety of reasons, most of which had little to do with the kids I went to school with. But most of all (not to sound like a cliche) I didn't like myself. I was a jerk. I know that's difficult to believe. Okay, maybe not so difficult. In my defense, however, I have to say that I really didn't know any better. I thought that's how people were supposed to act, or at least how men were supposed to act.

Some of my schoolmates in Michigan were people who treated me like shit back in the day. I also treated some many of my schoolmates like shit, though usually not the same ones who treated me that way. So this whole Facebook thing is a blatant reminder of so many things I wish I could take back.

I really think people who say they have no regrets are assholes. I learned a lot from my mistakes, and they led me to where I am now, so I wouldn't change a thing in that regard. But dammit, I hurt a lot of people who didn't deserve to be hurt, and that's what really gets to me, and it's what I can't let go of. Although all this stems from a period in my past that seems like a lifetime ago, I also realize it's as much a part of who I am now as anything, so I can't simply just ignore it.

Wait a minute!

Wasn't this supposed to be a "Win!"? How did we get sidetracked with all this Oprah crap?

Sorry about that.

Anyway, the original point of all this was was to simply point out an interaction with a couple of my Michigan "Facebook friends" that happened over the past couple days, which I thought was "Win!"-worthy.

A girl I went to school with (who I'm sure is a currently woman in her mid-thirties with a daughter, but she was a high-schooler the last time I saw her, so I can only think of her as a "girl") posted a status update (for you non-Facebookers, a status update simply allows you to tell your "Facebook friends" how you're feeling or what's on your mind, as well as allowing your "Facebook friends" to respond with comments). Her status update lamented the ridiculousness of all the corporate-sponsored college football bowl games with the sponsor's name in the bowl tile by "wondering when the Kraft Mac and Cheese Bowl is going to debut." Of course, being who I am, thought of a million responses but settled on this:

"I'm waiting for the Kotex Cotton Bowl..."

Yes, not my best work.

As soon as I hit the "Comment" button, I felt a pang of regret. How would she take it? Would she be completely offended and think I'm just some creepy, inappropriate jerk, or else some one who's trying to be funny, but, like Dennis Miller as a football commentator, FAILs miserably? Would she regret ever becoming my "Facebook friend"?

Suddenly, I was again transported back to high school. I went to a small school, and so everyone more or less knew everyone else. But she was two grades ahead of me, and I wasn't close to her. Also, that was almost a lifetime ago, so even though she seemed to have a sense of humor twenty years ago, she could've lost it since then. Furthermore, everyone else who was friends with her or with me would also see my comment, so I began to wonder what would they think? Would her "Facebook friends" wonder who she was "Facebook friends" with and decide to no longer be "Facebook friends" with her, causing her to hold a grudge against me for the rest of our lives and become some creepy stalker who chops me up with an axe while screaming about how I ruined her Facebook life?

Okay, I really didn't worry about that last part, but you get the point.

Anyway, I considered deleting the comment. But if someone comments on your Facebook, you get an email and tells you what the comment was. This meant the damage was already done, and I would just have to face the music. Fortunately, there was another person in my class who is apparently even more inappropriate than I am, and he commented on my Kotex Cotton Bowl comment by saying:

"I heard it's a real bloodbath."

Awesome! Suddenly, my inappropriate comment looked downright appropriate next to that one! I was instantly off the hook, like when you go to a party and get a bit tipsy and say something stupid and you're all embarrassed, but then someone else tries to start a fight, knocks over a lamp, and then pukes all over the couch, and at that point you realize nobody is going to remember the stupid thing you said and you're in the clear. Yes, just like that. Win!

FAIL: Naughty Language on TV

Here's what I'm talking about...



FAIL!

Isn't that just terrible? I only have one question:

Why would these fine, upstanding people, particularly Grover and Mr. Rogers, say all those naughty words? I guess being on TV just proved to be too stressful.

That's why I stick to blogging.

Rob