Saturday, October 28, 2006

Posto Numero Uno!

What a dork!

Hello everybody!

Well as you can see, I now have a blog and this is my first of what I hope to be many posts. So consider yourself to be part of history in the making by reading this! Actually, this will probably be yet another example of useless babble using up space on the Internet, but what the hell.

Okay, here's the deal: I AM NOT A COMPUTER EXPERT! This means that if I screw up with the formatting and it looks weird or the links don't work, too bad. I am, however, an English tutor, so feel free to call me out on my "speeling adn grammmer missteaks".

I plan on linking this blog to everyone in my email box. Now, let's say (hypothetically, of course) that I haven't been keeping in touch with many of those people, and that some of them have been consistently emailing me and I've been too lazy, oops I mean "busy" to email them back (remember this is all hypothetical) and they're all fuming and pounding their keyboards in anger because I keep ignoring them.

To those (hypothetical) people I say, fret no more! I have a blog!

You don't have to spend all day waiting for my email anymore. You can just visit my blog at your convenience and read about all the "intriguing and fascinating" things going on in my life. Hopefully my posts will prove to be engaging, witty, charismatic, delicious, and nutritious (maybe those last two adjectives weren't the best ones to choose).

And if this blog sucks, well, I'm not getting paid for this.

Now, some of you might be thinking, "Gee Rob, that's sounds great and all, but what if I don't want to sit here and read through all your crap? What if I have something I want to tell you, but it's not something very personal, and I don't mind if anyone else on this blog sees it?"

To you I say: What do you mean crap! I don't go to Mc Donald's where you work and tell you how to mop the floors, do I? GRRR!

And to answer you second question: Funny you should ask, because this blog has a feature where you, the viewer, can post your own comments! You can respond to anything I post or you can just say whatever you want! I'm not the dictator of this blog, merely the Chief Executive of this virtual democracy!

(Note: As the moderator, I do reserve the right to delete any postings that contain spam, harassment, are threatening to other posters, are stupid, or otherwise just make me look bad. I guess you could call it a virtual democracy with signing statements. Or you could call it fascism. I guess a dictatorship is much easier than a democracy. Did I just agree with George W. Bush?)

Nevertheless, I'm hoping that this blog allows me to stay in contact with friends and family, as well as giving me an opportunity to practice my writing skills. Besides, it's not like I have anything better to do with my time.

So you can see, the road we're going to be traveling together has a silver lining. Okay, I'm not good with metaphors.

I'm sure by now you noticed my ugly mug at the top of this blog. If you decided to keep reading despite my goofy-ass face staring back at you, then you're brave! If you've made it this far after all the yammering I've been doing, then you're extra-super-mega brave! Or you have no life.

But if you have the guts to look at that picture again, you can see a wall with a closet door in the background. This is the new house that Cathy and I moved into in September! Well, it's not new, but it's new for us. And I guess it's not technically a house because it's a duplex. Still, do you know the best part? No? Well, let me tell you: It's a two-bedroom! No, this doesn't mean that Cathy and I have taken to sleeping in separate bedrooms because our marriage is in trouble. Quit being so damn pessimistic! No, it means that we have an extra room for things like the computer, a bunch of bookshelves filled with books, our extra TV and stereo, some musical instruments, and our really ugly but comfortable chair, as well as having an extra closet to store more crap. In our last apartment, we had a lot of that stuff crammed into what essentially amounted to a glorified closet. But not anymore! We've taken to calling the extra bedroom "the study". But we don't just say "the study" in a normal way, we say it with a snooty accent and with our noses way up in the air. Well, maybe not so much Cathy, just me. Nevertheless, you can see the snobbish study in the background of the picture.

Our new place also has a garage with one of those automatic door openers! What a novelty! I feel like having the clicker clipped to the car visor is as much of a status symbol as cell phones used to be. In all honesty, the garage is currently filled with a bunch of junk, including a few boxes of stuff that we still have yet to unpack since the move. Right now there's no way to park a car in there, so having the clicker is pretty useless. Still, it's there clipped to my visor. What's that? You don't have a clicker? Ha-ha, you suck!

I'll post some pictures of the place after I figure out this whole blog picture posting deal. And after I take some pictures of the place. I'm sure the people who've been here and know what it looks like can't wait.

There's a lot more that I want to discuss like me being back in school, working for the BLM this summer, tutoring, political rants, our cat Cleocatra, my attempt at writing a book, etc., but I think these should be topics for future postings. Also, this posting is already starting to get pretty long, and I'm getting bored, and you're probably getting bored-er, so I think I'll wrap it up for now. But if you have suggestions for future postings or just want to say hi, please leave a comment!

Until next time!



Anonymous Christine said...

Hey Rob, Good to see your face! Since I am one of those people whose email you chose to ignore, I am glad I can read what you have been up to. Congratulation on your new home. Hope to see pictures soon. Love your sis

7:31 PM, October 28, 2006  
Blogger Rob said...

Hey Sis-

Glad somebody likes to see my face! And hey look, you're number one! Yay!
You win a free plug for your website:


7:59 PM, October 28, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now I want to start a blog so we can compete to be the coolest blogger in the blogsphere. You beat me to it, so +1 for you. You left a list about what you were going to write about so if this works like a jr. high school dance where you can request songs, I'm going to request a topic. Write about writing the novel! I'm dying to know about the blood sweat and tears you've poured into this.

I miss you guys!


7:40 AM, October 29, 2006  
Blogger Rob said...

Hey Jester!

A competition to see who is the coolest blogger on the blogosphere? You're on, but let it be known to the rest of the world that it will be a drawn out, no holds barred fight to the finish! And there will probably be a whole lot of collateral damage, as well!

Yes, the request lines are now open, though I'm not too sure about the idea of "writing about writing". I decided to forego majoring in English because I hated writing about stuff that other people wrote. But I guess writing about my attempts at writing would really be me just writing about myself. And as I'm sure you can tell by now, I love doing that!

11:27 AM, October 29, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is great! When are you gonna put something interesting up here? I can't wait!;-)

I think the kick ass blogging deathmatch would be a great place to start.

With Rob in the blue corner, and Jess in the other blue corner... You could put it on pay per view and call it smackdown of the hometown heroes.. or rumbleadiddly in the blogadiediddly... um... er. Never mind.

I can see it now...

The camera zooms in close to show the beads of perspiration form as you both frantically type. Back and forth. Back and forth. The commentator breathlessly, um.. commentating. "Oh no! Jess is in real trouble. Rob is working her over with his knockout progressive tense forms! But she is countering with her reflexive pronouns! What a match folks! What a match..."

As far as requests, I think you guys should start with "why I'm jealous of Wade's brand new toilet."

We just installed it this morning, and let me tell you, it is GREAT!! I mean, you just push the handle, (you don't have to hold it down or nuthin'!) and ALL of the poo is quickly evacuated from the bowl with the satisfying sound of a... well, the sound of a significantly more powerful toilet than our old one.

In retrospect, I think it might be a better idea for you guys to work it out for yourselves what you should compete over. I'm probably not the best person to be picking topics for ya, but I do look forward to seeing the fight!

2:45 PM, October 29, 2006  
Blogger Rob said...

Hey Wade-

Actually, there's no way at all I'd ever be jealous of your brand new toilet. Jealous of you for having a new toilet, maybe, but never jealous of the toilet itself. In fact, I really pity your new toilet. It's going to have to deal with you and your god-awful bowel movements for the foreseeable future. Your toilet would probably be happier in a public bathroom in a back alley in Calcutta.

Just a clarification: That was not a slam on Indian people, but merely a comment on the effects of Indian food on the human digestive system. Trust me, I know from experience (diarrhea).

One day into this blog and I'm already making poop jokes. But in my defense, it's the only logical response to a mention of a toilet. Let's change the subject, shall we?

As far as the "fight" goes, it would probably amount to a bunch of hair-pulling and eye-scratching, at least on my part. After all, I'm a lover, not a fighter.

This comment has gone way too far into the realm of silliness, so I'm going to use this opportunity to practice my HTML formatting skills and see if I can create a link:

Hooray, I think it worked!

DISCLAIMER: This link has nothing to do with toilets, eye-scratching, or diarrhea. It's my sister's website for her yak farm and it's pretty cool.


5:24 PM, October 29, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heya Rob, I don't think that link worked as well as you might think it did. I mean, I made it to the site, but I had to cut the link and paste it into my browser. It didn't do anything when i tried to click on it.

I think I might be interested in the yak soap on a rope. I'll mention it to Summer. I will reassure her that it is not yak SCENTED soap, but rather yak MILK soap, and reportedly smells quite nice. If I knew anyone who knitted, I would probably be interested in some yarn for a yakyarn sweater. I'll bet it would be all kinds of warm and cozy.

7:16 PM, October 29, 2006  
Blogger Rob said...

Aww, crap. Well, at least it was blue and underlined, so I guess that's progress, right? Like I said, I'm no computer expert. Anyway, thanks for the heads up and I'll try to see if I can figure it out before I try it again.

BTW, how come you keep posting as anonymous? I mean, I figured out who you are (I think), but it would be much easier if I didn't have to do any work. What are you, shy? I mean, I posted my own picture for crying out loud.

8:09 PM, October 29, 2006  
Blogger Rob said...

Okay, let's see if this works:

Pack River Yaks

8:14 PM, October 29, 2006  
Blogger Rob said...

Okay, I think it worked for real!

I love it when a plan comes together!


10:12 PM, October 29, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, Rob.

This is the most I've heard from you in years. Glad to see that you've created a space where everyone can communicate. I like your satirical commentary and look forward to reading more in the future.


1:10 PM, October 31, 2006  
Blogger Rob said...

Hey Erin!

You said:

"This is the most I've heard from you in years."

Touche, my friend. But you're so great at writing a lot and writing often that by the time I finish reading one of your emails, it's bedtime. ;)

Plus, you write about your travels to Australia, Singapore, Scandinavia, Central America, etc., and the most interesting thing I can come up with is bragging about my garage door opener.

Oh well, glad you enjoyed my blog. Your emails and online journals were a big part of what inspired me to create this in the first place.


1:30 PM, October 31, 2006  
Anonymous kate said...

One more reason an hour on the library computer just aint gonna cut it anymore, oh was that a gramma miss steak? Your blog drives me crazy. In a good way. It's like being right next to you, Oh god, I'm going to cry now. Thanks a lot.
Looking forward to the next installment. Rob for president!!

10:02 AM, November 08, 2006  
Blogger Rob said...

Hey Kate

Welcome aboard the, uh, board. Thanks for reminding me about "gramma miss steak". She's my favorite relative besides Aunt Jemima and Mama Cass. As far as President goes, I don't think that's likely to happen because I DID inhale. But thanks for the vote, anyway.


1:36 PM, November 08, 2006  

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